Five Years On: My Diagnosis and Mission Living As HIV-Positive

By Scott Foval, Huffington Post. Posted December 29, 2008.

It was at this moment that from my overall shock and depression, a new page was turning in my life. Just when I could not stand on my own, when I thought my life was nearly over, and when I literally was on my back and did not know if I was going to make it to the next moment, when I asked the critical questions, God answered me with a guardian angel's touch in my hour of need. Over the next several days, I rapidly realized that no longer would I be in the driver's seat of my career, life or purpose. I would learn through a series of serendipitous events that I had been saved for a reason and that my path was directly tied to this person, for better or for worse.

It was not long after Tim Jones came into my life that an epiphany came to me about why I had been saved from my self-destructive spiral. In a dream that vividly depicted me standing at a lectern, giving a speech to a packed room of people, sharing messages of survival and higher purpose, where I was thanked by hundreds for sharing my story, I saw myself with Tim standing behind me, signing autographs in my newly published first book. Now, immediately wide awake, I looked beside me to find my mostly blank journal notebook I had been carrying around for days, but had yet to write anything within its pages. I began writing the original series of handwritten journal entries that gave me the basis of the body of work which became scottsbigmouth.blogspot.com, and now ScottsBigMouth.com. Five years have passed now, and Tim and I celebrated together last month our journey, by recommitting to our shared life path as it unfolds before us.

When I was diagnosed, it was Tim who aggressively encouraged me to explore my writing and prioritize it above all other things -- above money, my consulting practice, and above any other job that I have done in the past five years. Fortunately, my bosses at the various Chicago companies and organizations I have worked with also have been very supportive of my work, and no one ever has asked me to stop writing. Quite the opposite, in fact, as many of my co-workers and friends, supervisors and bosses, clients and subjects of my reporting and commentary have become regular readers of my blog.

This year I am telling my story so that people know why today, more than ever, it is unquestionable that we need to re-invest in HIV/AIDS research, medical assistance for the millions of diagnosed and unknown numbers of undiagnosed carriers, free HIV/AIDS treatment and case management at the community level to help people live healthy lives while surviving with HIV, and massively recommit to testing and education for the entire population.

I continue to live with the virus, now undetectable thanks to a new generation of anti-retroviral drugs and testosterone therapy, ongoing support from my family and Tim's family, understanding and compassion from friends, and excellent treatment I have received from providers like the Core Center at Cook County Hospital, Dr. J. Wesley Cook, D.O., Family Medicine, and Access Community Health Care Services at TPAN; I bounced back and for three years produced stories and commentary about our world, our country, our community and issues that matter to progressives and centrists of all persuasions and perspectives.

Political, world and local events this year demonstrated to us that the fight for equality and social justice for the GLBTQ community, people living with HIV/AIDS, the battle of defeating racial and religious bigotry and extremism, and showing people that the politics of division are not the right course for our world are battles that really have just begun. We learned in a handful of states that the Mormon Church; Focus on the Family and its founder, James Dobson; the Westboro Baptist Church and its leader Fred Phelps; Rush Limbaugh; Sean Hannity; Bill O'Reilly; Fox News; Newt Gingrich; Ralph Reed; Darth Vader Dick Cheney; and Dr. Evil Karl Rove all poured millions of dollars and airtime into efforts aimed at taking civil rights away from people like Tim and me -- all in the shadow of Americans' mandate for change and unity manifesting itself through a massive political shift in the electorate, millions turning out to elect the first commander in chief of African descent in President-elect Barack Obama.

With the announcement of his Cabinet and nominations for appointments and staff, composed of a well-qualified and distinguished cross-section of leaders and experts in foreign policy, national security, global financial and economic policy; Mr. Obama has set a new standard for reaching across the political divide, focusing on substance and quality, while simultaneously successfully engaging his new role in a manner never before seen in a president-elect.

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Scott Foval is a writer, media host, presenter and producer living in Chicago.

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