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5 Terrible Life Tips for Women Courtesy of Fox News

Fox & Friends offers up groundbreaking advice like "not talking too much" and "keeping your husband happy."

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If you are in your mid-30s or older the idea that you’re going to find another husband, almost impossible. And if you don’t believe me ask your maiden aunt, she will tell you when she’s done feeding the cats.

That line prompted a chorus of guffaws from Kilmeade and Doocy. But the underlying message is frightening: your identity and self-worth are predicated on your marriage, and being single or divorced is a sign of moral failure. Entirely ignoring the fact that people grow apart, or fall in love with other people, or out of love with each other, Patton insists, “Don’t even think that divorce is an option.”

4) Your career comes second

Unsurprisingly, Patton believes that women today are “entitled princesses” for prioritizing their careers ahead of their families. She thinks that the media focuses too much on the self-esteem and careers of young women, while men’s workplace struggles are neglected and minimized. For Patton, the choice is simple: you can be a “good” wife and mother, who cares for her family and presumably stops working full time after having children, or you can be a “selfish” careerist. God forbid that women may not be interested in having children—or in getting married at all. Again, Patton’s narrow worldview is made glaringly obvious; not only is she incapable of envisioning a dynamic where both parents work and are involved with raising their children and housekeeping, but she entirely overlooks the hundreds of thousands of LGBT people, divorcees, widowers, single people, low-income families who rely on both parents’ paychecks, and single mothers who don't fit into these neatly defined roles. It’s Leave It to Beaver or bust.

5) Feminism is the problem

Needless to say, there is only one culprit for young women’s egotism and unappreciative attitude towards men: feminism. According to Patton, “women have become so emboldened by those antagonistic feminists” that they have forced an “overcorrection” in American culture, in which society has gone from ignoring women’s rights to becoming overly sensitive to them. She was particularly perturbed by a segment that Fox & Friends had run the day before, focusing on what husbands need to do to make their wives happy. Claiming she was “screaming at the TV” when Mark Merrill, head of Family First, suggested that men offer to stay home with the kids so that their wives can take the night off, Patton explained that was yet another example of men being forced to go out of their way to accommodate the needs of their wives, while their own needs go unmet.

In sum, Fox says: don’t talk, look pretty, focus on your family, don’t push for equal rights, and care for your husband. It would be funny if it wasn’t so depressing. 

Allegra Kirkland is AlterNet's associate managing editor. Her writing has appeared in the Chicago Reader, Inc., Daily Serving and the Nation.

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