Food

9 Most Horrifying Chain Restaurant Concoctions

The Xtreme Eating Awards 'honored' such food as 'A1 Peppercorn Burger with Bottomless Steak Fries' and 'The Big Slab.'

It’s an honor that no restaurant wants to win. (Although, if we’re being honest, most probably take perverse pleasure in receiving it.) Awarded annually by the Center for Science in the Public Interest, the Xtreme Eating Awards single out the biggest and baddest of unhealthy menu items — entrees, platters and desserts that can top 3,000 calories, and which come packed with enough fat, sodium and sugar to (arguably) kill you outright.

In a way, the “winners” seem to be almost unfairly singled out — it’s not like anyone who orders Red Robin’s A1 Peppercorn Burger with Bottomless Steak Fries and a Monster Salted Caramel Milkshake doesn’t know what they’re getting into. And does anyone really go to the Cheesecake Factory, a restaurant whose name references one of the most fattening types of dessert and the industrialized food system, and expect to have a light lunch?

Still, when one “small” deep dish pizza can be equated to three personal pepperoni pies from Pizza Hut — themselves each more meal than you probably ever need — it seems fair to argue that chain restaurants have passed the point of self-parody. As CSPI dietitian Paige Einstein put it, “it’s clear that caloric extremism still rules the roost at many of America’s chain restaurants.”

The nine meals deemed biggest and baddest are broken down below:

A1 Peppercorn Burger with Steak Fries and Monster Salted Caramel Milkshake
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Salon

1. Red Robin

A1 Peppercorn Burger with Steak Fries and Monster Salted Caramel Milkshake

One meal, 3,540 calories, 69 grams of saturated fat, 6,280 milligrams of sodium and about 38 teaspoons of added sugar. The unlimited refills mean that technically, you could just keep adding to those numbers forever.

 

Bruléed French Toast
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Salon

2. Cheesecake Factory

Bruléed French Toast

Brunch that could feed you for a week, with 2,780 calories, 93 grams of saturated fat, 2,230 milligrams of sodium and 24 teaspoons of sugar. Bacon optional.

 

Farfalle with Chicken and Roasted Garlic
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Salon

3. Cheesecake Factory

Farfalle with Chicken and Roasted Garlic

Bow-Tie Pasta, chicken, mushrooms, tomato, pancetta, peas and caramelized onions are an okay start, until you get to the cream sauce. It clocks in at 2,410 calories and 63 grams of saturated fat -- but "only 1,370 milligrams of sodium.

 

Reese's Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake Cheesecake
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Salon

4. Cheesecake Factory

Reese's Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake Cheesecake

Setting aside what it means to indulge in this after already eating the pasta, this signature dish boasts 1,500 calories, 43 grams of saturated fat and 21 teaspoons of sugar. CSPI is especially concerned that the menu recommends customers try all 40 cheesecake varieties.

 

The Big Slab
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Salon

5. Famous Dave's

"The Big Slab"

With the promise of one and half pounds of meat, you probably already know where this is going. Throw in two sides and a muffin, and this spareribs combo carries 2,770 calories, 54 grams of saturated fat, 4,320 milligrams of sodium and 14 teaspoons of sugar.

 

Small Deep Dish Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza
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Salon

6. BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse

Small Deep Dish Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza

Don't let the "small" throw you off from the long list of adjectives that follow: this is the pizza that, with 2,160 calories, 30 grams of saturated fat and 4,680 milligrams of sodium, is roughly equivalent to three Pizza Hut Personal Pan Pepperoni Pizzas. (Pictured: Buffalo Chicken Deep Dish Pizza)

 

Super Cinco Combo
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Salon

7. Chevys Fresh Mex

Super Cinco Combo

A beef enchilada, a chicken enchilada, a beef taco, a pork tamale and a "handcrafted Chile Relleno" -- all atop rice, a "signature sweet corn tamalito" and beans -- boasts 1,920 calories, 36 grams of saturated fat and 3,950 milligrams of sodium. And that's if you skip the free chips and salsa.

 

The Big "Hook" Up
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Salon

8. Joe's Crab Shack

The Big "Hook" Up

The only plausible excuse for this monstrous platter of fried seafood is that it's made to be shared. Bring a lot of friends: you've got 3,280 calories, 50 grams of saturated fat and 7,610 milligrams of sodium to split.

 

Prime New York Steak, Contadina style
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Salon

9. Maggiano's Little Italy

Prime New York Steak, Contadina style

It's like five McDonald’s Quarter Pounder beef patties, with extras, for a total of 2,420 calories, 66 grams of saturated fat and 5,620 milligrams of sodium.

Lindsay Abrams is a staff writer at Salon, reporting on all things sustainable. Follow her on Twitter @readingirl, email labrams@salon.com.