Election 2016

WATCH: Stephen Colbert Lambastes Iowa’s Coin Toss That Helped Out Hillary

"The Democrats picked the winner last night the same way roommates decide who has to drive to Taco Bell.”

Like all Americans, Stephen Colbert was super fascinated with the broadcasting of the Iowa caucus on Monday night for several reasons. “The caucus was a squeaker...Hillary Clinton won by three-tenths of one percent," Colbert said. "And after all that campaigning, this splinter of a sliver of a shard of a margin of an echo of a ricochet of a victory came down to a matter of luck.”

Indeed, the decision was a tossup — literally. In six precincts, the contest between Bernie and Hillary actually came down to a coin toss to break the tie. What are the chances of that happening, Colbert thought. So did we.

He also offered up a snarky criticism of America's democratic process: “The Democrats picked the winner last night the same way roommates decide who has to drive to Taco Bell.”

“Hillary won all six of the coin tosses. With that kind of coin-flipping prowess, forget the Democrats, the Broncos should draft Hillary for the Superbowl on Sunday!" Colbert joked. Or maybe Bernie’s “trash talking of money and politics so much that now the coins have turned against him!”

Also, while Democratic candidate Martin O’Malley ended up dropping out of the race, third place translated into an exhilarating victory for Republican candidate Marco Rubio. Meanwhile, Trump was Cruz-ifed by the caucus and the city — schadenfreude being not only a New York value, but an American one. Watch:

Alexandra Rosenmann is an AlterNet associate editor. Follow her @alexpreditor.

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