Election 2014  
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Why Frightened White Men Love Romney

The evolution of the species can't come fast enough.

These are the facts you don’t want to know. This is the hard data that can make you cringe, that can despoil the soul and make you wonder at the sad state of the modern world, and gender politics, and the tragically deceived hearts of (ahem) men.

All that progress! All that supposed enlightenment! All that push and desire, that evolution and that open-hearted possibility! And for what? For naught! For shame!

Maybe I was just blocking it out. Maybe I just didn’t want to recall just how wide, how gnarled, how ugly was the gender gap in the last presidential election, when fully half of American men for some godforsaken reason clung to McCain while a huge majority of women understandably wanted Obama, and it was all tied to an antiquated idea that the modern male still hadn’t evolved much beyond his own chauvinistic posturing and the hollow, old-school, might-makes-right machismo McCain so wobblingly represented.

This time, I thought, must be different. This time such a sharp disparity simply cannot exist, particularly given how much the times have changed, given how far we have come, given how it was Obama who nailed bin Laden, Obama who ended a miserable war in Iraq, Obama who is a badass at hoops and Obama who ordered Somali pirates taken out, etcetera and so on, all of which, if nothing else, should appeal well enough to the base macho demographic. Not to mention how Mitt Romney is about as virile and appealing a male presence as a petrified snail.

Really, how could any semi-enlightened male worth his Detroit auto bailout possibly wish for a vacuous one-percenter like Mitt Romney, a guy who would just as soon lay them off as sell them to China for scrap?

For that matter, how could any female worth her active ovaries and glass ceiling believe Obama wasn’t in the best interest of every interest she could name, from Planned Parenthood to college education, abortion rights, gun control, gay marriage, all the way to the nasty, Romney-supported idea that that single moms (and lesbians) just need to find a husband and shut up already?

I have been proven wrong. Leave it to  Nate Silver’s harrowing analysis of the current gender gap in this election (see chart) to slap away any notions of gender equality, the idea that the men and women of America might, just might, have found some semblance of parity, and progress, with the only extant difference being education, intellectual attunement and economic concern.

Not even close. Here is your brutal nutshell takeaway: If only women voted, Obama wins in a landslide. If only men voted, Romney wins in a landslide. (Taken further: if only  Latinos, blacks, celebrities, college grads, professors, scientists, poets, Burning Man attendees, book readers, trees, oceans, major cities or college towns of America voted, Obama nails it wholly and true. If only rich CEOs, gun owners, upper managers, oil companies, rednecks, shut-ins and guys who think Muslims are terrorists, Mexicans are lazy house painters and feminazis are ruining porn voted, Romney is a mutant and faraway god).

All of which leads to the most depressing conclusion of all: older white males remain the most terrified, lopsided, confused demographic in all of America, perhaps even more acutely – and more embarrassingly –  in this election than any other in modern history.

Let us not be naïve. Gender gaps are always present in major elections. Still, I admit to being slightly surprised at the size of this one. Perhaps it’s due to my strident bias toward enlightened male attitudes, particularly living here in San Francisco, with its enormous and generally fearless armadas of awakened males who, by and large, aren’t at all threatened by smart women, feminists, sex, abortion rights, single moms, shifting relationship dynamics, or the clarion call to redefine their own roles in society at large. Hell, this is San Francisco. This is what we  do.

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