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7 Steps to Smoke Pot and Never Get Caught

Most pot smokers never get arrested. So, what are they doing right?

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That’s a false distinction, because marijuana smoking transcends all racial and socio-economic backgrounds. However, because of marijuana’s prohibition, those who are known to be marijuana smokers by the public tend to be the fringes of the smoking demographic.  Fair or not, your long hair, scruffy beard, hippie dress, tie-dye, dreadlocks, pierced face, multiple tattoos, sagging britches, tribal ear discs, or pot-leaf T-shirt are going to arouse more suspicion than my suit and tie, polo shirt and Dockers, or Green Bay Packers T-shirt.

Step #4: Be Aware

Simple things can give you away. When you are smoking outside, which way is the wind blowing? One friend of mine was busted smoking behind a hedge, unaware the smell was penetrating through to the busy sidewalk. Where are the security cameras? Another friend was busted smoking in the parking lot of a casino on Indian land, of all places, forgetting that casinos have cameras everywhere.

At night, don’t pass a pipe back and forth in the dark parking lot – that flickering lighter going off every 30 seconds can be visible for up to a mile. A joint is your best bet, especially if you can mingle with cigarette smokers; otherwise make sure to be sly in passing the joint so that little orange glow doesn’t make slow back-and-forth circles for anyone looking.

I’ve found being in the open, but distant from others, is much preferred to trying to hide somewhere. Stairwells, alcoves, cul-de-sacs, alleyways, and “just around the corner” have caught some of my friends who have been snuck up on by police, leaving them stuck literally holding the bag with nowhere to go. But alone, smoking a joint while walking through a large empty parking lot, I am indistinguishable at a distance from some cigarette smoker walking to his car and I’ve got some time to eat that joint if someone should approach.

Step #5: Don’t Smoke in Your Car

Your car is the number-one place you will most likely have an encounter with law enforcement. Looking for people with marijuana in their cars keeps some police departments in business. So smoking in your car, whether it is moving or not, is never a good idea.

At some point, however, you do have to move yourself with some marijuana from point A to point B in a rapid fashion. So if you have to have marijuana in your car, you should keep it in the trunk or locked up in the back somehow. Your center console, your glove compartment, and for pete’s sake, the dashboard, are not storage places for your stash.

Step #6: Only Break One Law at a Time

In drug reform circles, this is known as Steinborn’s Rule. If you are going to be smoking marijuana, this is not the time to be breaking other laws, like noise ordinances and traffic laws. If you’re driving with marijuana in your car and you can’t say with 100% certainty that your blinkers, taillights and headlights are in perfect working order and your registration tags and insurance and license are up to date, you’re just waiting to be one of those 850,000 marijuana arrests this year.

Step #7: It’s Not Weed, It’s Evidence

What’s the first rule of Weed Club?  Don’t talk about Weed Club. It has become ludicrously easy for law enforcement to build cases to get search warrants based on information pot smokers willingly give up about themselves on Facebook, Twitter and other social networks.  Your phone calls, voice mails and texts, no matter how clever you think your code words are, can all be used against you by law enforcement.

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