Let us take a couple of moments to band together, spray ourselves with SPF 450, and look at the upside of overheating.
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The Bright Side of Global Warming
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Oh, you're going to love this. It's the latest tripe being ground out of the ever busy Bush Administration sausage factory of spin. Now that the evidence about global warming is pretty much nailed down, meaning every scientist on the face of the planet agrees that not only are we neck deep in the middle of it, the bottom of our earlobes are starting to tickle; turns out, no worries. It's really good for us.
Yes. "Glaciers are actually growing." Well, at least one is. In spots. Some scientists say this is also due to global warming, but hey, why work yourself into a lather You can't deny shipping will benefit due to the opening of a Northwest Passage. It's the fast tracking of Armageddon. So what if other parts of the world are destined to suffer eternal droughts or total submersion or disappearing fauna and flora and coastline. That's just what you call your collateral damage. Can't have an omelet without breaking a few eggs. Just think of the future as a 12 ton boulder on a hen house.
According to Al Gore's new movie, "An Inconvenient Truth," we got a window of about 10 years before we hit the point of no return, and let's face it: Americans are the lead dog in this Iditarod to hell. And we got less chance of altering our gas guzzling ways in time as a pack of Chihuahuas have of pulling a sled carrying the 101st Airborne. Wouldn't you say it's just about time we weenie liberals accept the fate that God and Exxon-Mobil have mapped out for us and search for the silver lining in living on a planet speedily replicating the atmosphere of Mercury? I would. It's the point of this column. So let us take a couple of moments to band together, spray ourselves down with SPF 450 and look at the upside of overheating.
The Bright Side of Global Warning:
Will Durst is a political comic, syndicated columnist, AM radio talk show host and defense liability.
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