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In Manhattan, a walk in the park is no walk in the park.

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Going Low-Tech

By Annalee Newitz, AlterNet. Posted May 1, 2006.


In Manhattan, a walk in the park is no walk in the park.

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I had the urge to be low-tech, so I spent a day walking across Manhattan. If you believe that culture is the new nature, my trek was roughly equivalent to an amble through the forest. I bought a bagel and lox at Zabar's, stuck my earbuds in on the corner of Broadway and West 80th St. and headed south. Surely a Neanderthal could have had this same experience munching on meat and humming to herself as she wandered through Europe 42,000 years ago.

The Upper West Side -- bounded by Central Park on one side, and Riverside Park on the other -- is actually full of old-school traditional nature. There are trees and slightly stinky bodies of water and birds. I know there's supposed to be some dramatic cultural difference between the Upper West Side and the Upper East Side, but I think my relentlessly Californian senses prevent me from discerning what it is. Both sides of the park are full of well-maintained residences, doctors' offices, corner stores built in the 1950s and nannies ambling with baby strollers.

Exiting the park's south side is pretty much like walking into a really dirty waterfall next to sharp rocks. In fact, scratch that -- nature has no metaphors adequate to describe the sheer human hell of this place. Its dense cultural outcroppings and vortices stretch at least to 40th Street below Times Square and create the sensation of being in a crowd that's just on the verge of rioting in response to a piece of entertainment. This is very different from being in a crowd whose proto-violence is prompted by a desire for food or political freedom.

At the heart of Times Square I made a left and detoured briefly into the Condé Nast building to visit one of my editors. Four Times Square is one of the only high-rise office buildings in Manhattan constructed from eco-friendly materials. Supposedly the windows are specially made to maintain a moderate temperature, and air ducts keep fresh air circulating through the place. I couldn't really tell whether the building felt any "healthier" than, say, one of the scary buildings near Penn Plaza where I once interviewed a bunch of guys in suits. But it was amusing to try to identify which people in the elevator worked for Vogue and which worked for The New Yorker. After eating a genetically engineered banana with my editor among the translucent plastic structures that bloom like gigantic flowers all over the Condé Nast lunchroom, I returned to Broadway.

I slowed down when I hit 30th Street, moving through each neighborhood and watching the population change gradually the way I would watch a beach becoming forest if I were hiking on the California coast. The closer you get to Union Square Park near 12th Street, the more you start seeing young hipsters and frenetic middle-class people with bags of groceries. Continuing south, I skirted the edge of Greenwich Village and scooted past NYU, where everybody has floppy hair and Converse sneakers and jeans with stitching on the pockets.

Everyone got older and richer briefly in SoHo, but that group dissipated quickly around Canal Street. On Canal it was impossible for me not to examine at least four or five unlicensed pieces of trademarked and copyrighted media. People stuck handfuls of pirated DVDs under my nose; street vendors sold knockoff Hello Kitty and Gucci. If only this crowd could slake the thirst of those proto-rioters in Times Square, I don't think we'd have any violence.

The buildings got taller and the air between them colder as I approached the downtown financial district. People in suits with whimsical ties almost distracted me from my favorite part of Broadway downtown: the enormous brass bull statue near Wall Street that celebrates the crude joys of financial power. I never get tired of looking at its huge balls, which hang in remarkably realistic detail between its raised tail and abstract cock. Capitalists have never been a shy bunch, nor do they have any difficulty finding metaphors from nature to explain their peculiar form of culture.

And then, at last, I was at the Staten Island ferry, which brought me to the one place where Manhattanites fear to tread.

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typical...
Posted by: hooper_x on May 1, 2006 2:26 PM   
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With white writers who write about NYC, there must be a some sort of mass neurosis which manifests itself in the delusion that that the northernmost edge of the world is at 110th st.

"And then, at last, I was at the Staten Island ferry, which brought me to the one place where Manhattanites fear to tread."

Yeah. right.

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» Speaking as a former New Yorker... Posted by: medstudgeek
New York.
Posted by: particle on May 1, 2006 4:54 PM   
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Maddening, annoying, headache inducing but never boring New York.

Just within the walking distance you describe is a tremendous amount of interesting activity high and low: art, architecture, history, music, food... weirdness and more. Just out of curiosity, how much driving would you have to do in sprawling LA to access the kinds of things available to you just in Manhattan, let alone in the outlying areas accessible by mass transport?

When it comes to nature, Wyoming it's not. Still I get the feeling you're missing out, which is a shame.

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100% Correct
Posted by: juliewine on May 1, 2006 6:38 PM   
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I was thinking the same exact thing. For some reason, New Yorkers completely forget that there is anything above 96th street.

Harlem is safe both day and night. I have lived here several years without an inkling of a problem.

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Harlem has always been safe.
Posted by: Longdream on May 1, 2006 8:21 PM   
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I played there often when I was little.

But now they're selling condos in the South Bronx for mid-to-upper three figures!

Is nothing sacred??? Pretty soon we're going to have to go to a museum to see a slum!!

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Typical Too
Posted by: lamar on May 2, 2006 6:57 AM   
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Just like a typical outsider, you don't see Murray Hill as part of Manhattan just because it's tucked away in the way east 30's. You obviously are biased against Burberry-people or else you would have included Murray Hill in your Manhattan journey. On the other hand, I'm of the opinion that this type of whining gets old real quick.

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culture will be the new nature when civilization collapses from its own excess
Posted by: JoshuaLudd on May 2, 2006 12:09 PM   
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" If you believe that culture is the new nature, my trek was roughly equivalent to an amble through the forest."

If you believe that culture is the new nature you have some serious fucking problems and are a perfect example of why our species is killing itself while (relatively) wealthy americans don't even see that there is a problem.

If you want to try low-tech... try ACTUAL low-tech or no-tech.

"Surely a Neanderthal could have had this same experience munching on meat and humming to herself as she wandered through Europe 42,000 years ago."

If by "this same experience" you mean an experience that has nothing in comparison to the one described outside of eating while walking and hearing a noise of some sort.

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devil's advocate
Posted by: kleer001 on May 2, 2006 2:21 PM   
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Hold up kids... I think she's spreading some humorus hyperbole with the neaderthal bit. Maybe she's just saying that that's as close as we can easily get these days.
And as for the writer in NY essay I could do without. Where's the cutting, nay bleeding edge tech and internets sillyness? If I wanna walk around NY I'm sure there's vlogs to satisfy.

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I used to live at 106th st
Posted by: metasailor on May 3, 2006 9:28 AM   
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and Lexington; Spanish Harlem.

And yeah, that 96th street border was really quite striking. The South side of the street, lovely brownstones. The North side of the street, more broken down homes populated more by the broke. Literally from one side of the street to the next, night and day.

I lived there for 2 1/2 years, white as could be, with my white computer programmer roomie, and had no problem. It was funny though; there were THREE blatant drug fronts just on our block alone. I once heard a Police car come by and tell the proprietors through the bullhorn, "You know you can't hang out outside of the smoke shop. Go back inside."

And the Upper West Side, up to Columbia, is simply awesome. Moved away a while ago, probably never live there again; but I miss NY, always. It's unlike any other place. I hope it survives the onslaught of mega-franchises bent on sucking out it's flavor.

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Jane K
Posted by: EGK on May 3, 2006 12:59 PM   
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A snippy, unpleasant article with no particular insight. The author should just keep walking away from NYC!

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