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Funniest Thing Published by a News Magazine in the History of News Magazines

Posted by Joshua Holland, AlterNet at 4:45 PM on July 29, 2009.


Swallow your milk!

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Holy Christ, this is a Newsweek "web exclusive" ...

Stand In

Why Obama should make George W. Bush his Mideast envoy.

Gerald Herbert / AP

By Gregory Levey

On Sunday, George Mitchell, President Obama's Middle East envoy, arrived in Israel to confer with its leaders. Also visiting this week are Defense Secretary Robert Gates, national-security adviser James Jones, and Gulf States envoy Dennis Ross. It's a full-court press on the Israelis, and the American wish list is long. They want Israel to stop expanding settlements; to stop building Jewish neighborhoods in East Jerusalem; and for hawks in the government to chill out while the U.S. is negotiating with Iran. And yet, odds are, they'll come back to Washington empty-handed, for reasons having to do as much with atmospherics as policy: Team Obama just doesn't have Israel's full trust.

But there is someone who does—someone who could use a job, someone who argued straightforwardly for a Palestinian state, and yet someone who has the implicit admiration and regard of Israel. President Obama needs a new envoy to the region who can get results—and George W. Bush is his man.

Words fail me.

I do have this, however, which sums up my thoughts on the matter pretty well ...

head

Digg!

Tagged as: bush, obama

Joshua Holland is an editor and senior writer at AlterNet.


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HA!
Posted by: leTerrassier on Jul 29, 2009 5:42 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!
Stop, stop, I can't stop laughing, and my sides hurt!

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: HA! Posted by: sam3
I don't know what your problem is...
Posted by: kwalla on Jul 29, 2009 6:02 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I think it would be great to send GW Bush to the middle east; just make sure he gets a one way ticket.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

LOL Joshua!
Posted by: foreverhope on Jul 29, 2009 6:18 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
*chuckle* well done Joshua, very interesting find. I tend to agree a one way ticket is in order.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Uhhhhhhh...
Posted by: Quannah on Jul 29, 2009 8:04 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
What.

The.

Fuck???

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

George W. gets results?
Posted by: Ellie1 on Jul 29, 2009 8:30 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I can't think of any that were positive, except he was positively the worst president and the worst human being to ever disgrace the White House.

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» The fact that any bushcon.. Posted by: weathered
Well
Posted by: Nickdanger007 on Jul 29, 2009 8:37 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Words also failed W pretty much.

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Are the books appearing yet that praise him as a great president?
Posted by: Sojourner on Jul 29, 2009 9:26 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I saw some titles during his early years but surely there are some other kiss-ups begging for exclusives.

Arnie of California approved swapping Reagan's statue in the D.C. Rotunda in place of the Rev. Dr. Thomas Starr King, who is credited with keeping California in the Union during the Civil War. So instead, now we have a man identified with using the presidency for his private war and illegal arms trading as California's hero. I hope the next time a Demo is elected governor, Ronnie will be put in the closet. I'd rather have Mickey Mouse.

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"Shut up, I'm a frothy bampot!"
Posted by: particle on Jul 29, 2009 9:33 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Is this the same Gregory Levey that used to write speeches for the Israeli government?

Lordy, Lordy. This world is one weird, crusty little rock and Gaia has a mental hygiene problem.

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BikeAdman
Posted by: bikeadman on Jul 30, 2009 5:28 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The graphic could be someone praying at the Wailing Wall or someone hitting his head against a wall. Ah, the universality, the ecumenism of it!

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Notice the blue tie/white shirt?
Posted by: weathered on Jul 30, 2009 5:36 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
subtle, like a hand grenade.

America was critically wounded on 9/11.
Our spirit got crushed in their dark, draconian rubble.

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Hasn't He Kissed The Saudi's Enough Already/
Posted by: FoonTheElder on Jul 30, 2009 7:35 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Haven't we seen Bushie kiss enough parts of the Saudi leaders anatomy already?

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Hold Your Friends Close, Your Enemies Even Closer
Posted by: rgoalierob on Jul 30, 2009 7:39 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
But, good God, not that close!
A cell at The Hague is more suitable for Dubya and "The Dick".

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Not funny!
Posted by: folkie on Jul 30, 2009 8:36 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Have you read Russ Baker's book, Family of Secrets: The Bush Dynasty, the Powerful Forces That Put It in the White House, and What Their Influence Means for America?

Have you noticed that the new administration hasn't changed, and has continued and defended the policies of the previous administration? That's because those policies did not originate with any administration but with the policy-making bodies that make policies.

If the wealthy elites who rule the world want it, their policy-making bodies have already commanded both political parties to make it happen, Obama will have no choice but to obey, and the mighty Wurlitzer PR machine is already spinning it for public consumption.

Nope, not funny at all.

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» What's "not funny" Posted by: Shey
I had to go look...
Posted by: QuestionAuthority on Jul 30, 2009 9:21 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...at my calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1. Then I had to make sure that the story wasn't really from The Onion.

I really want some of whatever they're smoking!

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And please send Cheney...
Posted by: smendler on Jul 30, 2009 10:57 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
... to negotiate with the folks in Atlantis while you're at it

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Posted to the Newsweek Site...
Posted by: almanac1951 on Jul 30, 2009 2:23 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I commend Newsweek for its compassionate new policy of hiring hopelessly damaged users of hallucinogenic substances to write political opinion pieces, of which, I assume, this is the first in a series.

I suppose this action was taken based on the rationale that an irreparable acid casualty couldn't be any less coherent than George F. Will. Hard to argue with that.

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Satire is dead
Posted by: hilaryuk on Jul 30, 2009 3:00 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Either that, or winging its way across the galaxy in search of sanity.

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Ok--time to post "GOTCHA!!!"
Posted by: PrimaDiva on Jul 31, 2009 5:47 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I bet Laura doesn't allow W to negotiate with PIZZA HUT!

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