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Domestic Abuse Up Close: Man Beats Wife, Forces Their Son to Film It [VIDEO]

Posted by Amanda Marcotte at 2:00 PM on September 20, 2007.


Diane Sawyer interviews an abused woman and shows video of her battering filmed by her son.
Man Beats His Wife, Forces Son to Film It

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This post, written by Amanda Marcotte, originally appeared on Pandagon.

Here's an interesting video that I grabbed from Echidne. Warning: It's really distressing -- in part, it's a video a man made his son take of him beating his wife. What's fascinating is it really shows how justified abusers feel about their behavior. The end part is interesting, too, since they interview the judge on this case.

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Tagged as: women, abuse, domestic violence

Amanda Marcotte co-writes the popular blog Pandagon.


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The important questions go unanswered.
Posted by: ABetterFuture on Sep 20, 2007 2:06 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
1) Is she and her son safe?

2) Were criminal complaints filed?

and

3) If the perpetrator was guilty, was the perpetrator punished as prescribed by our laws?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: What's the right sentence? Posted by: blitzmesser
» Correcting the wrongs Posted by: Leman
» Placing the blame Posted by: Leman
» RE: Placing the blame Posted by: peacefullaim
» RE: Placing the blame Posted by: Lauren
Wow.
Posted by: Scientz on Sep 20, 2007 3:05 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
That made me want to puke.

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36 YEARS SOUNDS GOOD TO ME
Posted by: VZEQICVA on Sep 20, 2007 4:22 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I can't imagine living that way. The Pastor's wife who killed her husband with one shot to the back of his head becomes easily understood. She's free as a bird and she should be. This is not a way to live. And I'm not interested in HIS troubled childhood or other BS that comes into play. It's amazing that this woman still sane. Anna

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» RE: 36 YEARS SOUNDS GOOD TO ME Posted by: MrIntuition
» RE: 36 YEARS SOUNDS GOOD TO ME Posted by: AMERICAN VETERAN
» RE: 36 YEARS SOUNDS GOOD TO ME Posted by: blitzmesser
» RE: 36 YEARS SOUNDS GOOD TO ME Posted by: andrushka
ummm, something just feels weird about this
Posted by: kenhymes on Sep 20, 2007 6:49 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I'm a survivor of severe abuse. I am involved in supporting people who are victimized. And something just feels fishy about this video. We're told it was taped by the son... did he have two cameras and a video-switcher? The first part looks like a storyboarded and then "fake-badly" shot scene using two cameras, both being zoomed and moved, while the second part looks like a completely different camera. The look of the video changes drastically in the different sections.

As an advocate, I want to applaud the show for taking on this kind of all-too-common sadism. As an AV pro, I have to wonder what's going on.

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comsympinko
Posted by: eyespy on Sep 20, 2007 8:51 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
That's one of the sickest things I've ever seen.

Words fail.

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Porn header?
Posted by: lamar on Sep 20, 2007 8:52 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The headline sounds like a porn headline, the kind that are apparently super popular on Limewire. And 3...2...1... this is what's wrong with our damn country. Not the porn, mind you. it's the damn violence fetish. It makes us feel all burly and manly. It's truly disgusting....and I'm not sure it breaks down neatly between progressives and conservatives.

Truly disheartening, and I hope everyone is OK, but I'm not holding my breathe. Damn.

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» I think you're probably right. Posted by: ABetterFuture
36 years?
Posted by: kepstein7777 on Sep 21, 2007 2:56 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Not nearly long enough. That goon should be breaking rocks every day for the rest of his life, and kept on a diet of moldy bread and swamp water. She may still be alive, and still pretty. But based on this video, you can tell he is pure evil, and should never walk the streets.

Those kids should also be held responsible for their part in this, assuming she's right that they turned against her. I'm not sure I buy the brainwash thing. If you're 13 or 19, you should know when your dad is being a jerk. I did.

I don't know...There's something about DV that just gets to me, even though I have never been in a DV situation. I can hear about murder, robbery, gang violence, etc. every night on the news and just shake my head and switch the channel, but something about DV makes me stop in my tracks and feel a deeper hate for a wife abuser. I've heard it from other guys too. Maybe it's a guy thing.

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» RE: 36 years? Posted by: mazel
» RE: 36 years? Posted by: blitzmesser
» RE: 36 years? Posted by: mazel
» RE: 36 years? Posted by: Lauren
» RE: 36 years? Posted by: Lauren
I have been where Susan was
Posted by: Ellie1 on Sep 21, 2007 5:22 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
before there were domestic hotlines and abuse workers. I did get a sheriff's officer to evict my abuser and went to court for an order of protection, but I ended up having to PAY my ex half of the house and half of my pension. I guess it was a small price to pay for my sanity and my life, but that is when I turned against the system in this country and knew the legal system did not really work for me. I have not saluted the flag since then and this administration only reinforces my resentment and reinforces my pride and anger.

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domestic violence
Posted by: annejohnson on Sep 21, 2007 6:43 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
And this happens every day to some woman or some man in your very own neighborhood, only you just don't know who the Dr. Jekylls are who turn into Mr. Hydes when they get home and the doors and windows are closed so you can't hear. And in all too many cases, you wouldn't do anything even if you did hear. Check out the documentary "Defending our Lives" and the "photographic essay" book called Living with the Enemy by Donna Ferrato.

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WWJD
Posted by: lwwise on Sep 21, 2007 7:25 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
As I watched this pathetic man verbally and physically abuse his wife, I couldn't help but notice the big cross hanging from his neck as he did so.

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» RE: WWJD Posted by: AppleMommie AZ
» RE: WWJD Posted by: blitzmesser
showing this is wrong
Posted by: sakina on Sep 21, 2007 7:50 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Where did this video come from? Imagine the harm to this woman caused by showing it. How would you feel if someone released a video of you getting beaten? All you who sympathize with her are hypocrits for watching a video that must make her feel humiliated even more. Shame on you voyeurs.

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» RE: showing this is wrong Posted by: TruthBeTold
oh just kick his ass
Posted by: The Big Raven on Sep 21, 2007 8:05 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The goof needs his ass kicked.

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» RE: oh just kick his ass Posted by: MrIntuition
» RE: oh just kick his ass Posted by: AppleMommie AZ
» RE: oh just kick his ass Posted by: blitzmesser
» RE: oh just kick his ass Posted by: Lauren
torture, domestic violence and psy ops in the home
Posted by: caru on Sep 21, 2007 9:31 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
anyone looking at this post please pick up For Your Own Good : Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence , Alice Miller.

i personally cannot even watch the video. i can relay my own experience. the only time i ever needed law enforcement was when i was being chased by my former spouse. the police proved worthless. domestic violence is ASSAULT. this spouse had previously jumped on me with all his force while in steel toed boots. he also was bent on winning in a cut-throat capitalist way. i am gonna win, he said. where did he learn this? there is a name and address for every perp in history.

i have spent ten years contemplating violence and post traumatic stress (PLEASE STOP SAYING DISORDER, it is not a disorder, it is a natural response to an unnatural situation). i am the one who lost my successful career. i am the one who moved 500 miles away. i am the one who suffered the abuse of the police, the system and my own lawyers. the very worst way to solve problems. he on the other hand had millions and all the power. i have connected so deeply to maher arar and all the others who have experienced torture, abuse and assault. i have been intent on following every story related to pts and recovery from what i would call psy ops in the home. i am moved by the survivors reported in naomi kliens work.

this experience has made me hypervigilent. in a seer-like way i have been able to see through the bush administrations power over, abuse and assualt on the rights of all of us here on turtle island. it is the same thing. abuse in the home. abuse of the homeland. read this book by alice miller and you can make the next step to see that it derives from faulty parenting and bad thinking. alpha male power over children and women in the home. happens all to easily worldwide. this bad 'father bush' like in a dv case is completely being ignored by the authorities. we cannot continue to be suprised. this has all been engineered into the mind of our culture.

ahhhhhhh oooooommmmmmm aaaaaaahhhhhh


may we all be released from the collective mindset of torture, abuse and assault. i believe in RESTORATION. may be all be restored to a joyfull loving state. wiser for knowing the corruption, but no longer blind to the realities of violence.

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What I want to see
Posted by: Constitutionalist75 on Sep 21, 2007 10:13 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
is women karate-kicking their violent husbands into the hospital. Then they will think about themselves more deeply and seriously. Is it really worth their life to beat their wives? What makes them do it? Who inspired them to act so cruelly? Was it their drinking buddies, their fellow veterans, their father?

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» RE: What I want to see Posted by: Lauren
this story is a fraud...
Posted by: angstotheclown on Sep 21, 2007 1:13 PM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I have had relationships with women who make such "abuse" a part of their sexual play. The rape fantasy is so widespread but women will always deny it for fear of being labeled sexually perverted or worse. This woman has obviously received a makeover from the producers [I have been behind the scenes on such television shows and know from personal experience this kind of fraud goes on merely to gain ratings, "faux news" shows and Diane Sawyer are no different]. She trotted out one of their twisted sexplay tapes, one of them that doesnt include the actual mutually agreed to "rape fantasy"sex but which includes her kid [is she investigated for child abuse?, no...] and used said video to punish her husband after a breakup. I know these women. They have all had some trauma from their childhood which they then have to re-enact over and over during sexual acts but it is done WILLINGLY and is more often than not initiated by the woman. I found myself trying to please the women in my life by engaging in their spanking, insulting, etc. sexplay but after a while it becomes obvious the scenarios they create are unfulfilling and without love. I broke it off with them when it became clear they were incapable of real emotional love. Refuse to engage in their sexual re-enactments or fail to ejaculate on cue [something that is crucial to their need] and you faced an angry, crying, self loathing tantrum from them. I couldnt take it and eventually had to stop taking the obsessive calls and irrational behavior that followed trying to break off such a relationship. It is a root symptom of the widespread selfdestructive, obsessive compulsive, bulimic, anorexic, you name it behavior that is sweeping the largely white, middleclass female population in this country. Women today are incapable of dealing with the daily barrage of life in this country and find "control" in purging and other suicidal activity that doesnt quite reach the level of actual suicide. A cry for help when they subconsiously don't want such help. Oddly enough I have found myself now dealing with yet another woman in a long distance relationship that has progressed from pleasant conversations to bizarre bouts of phone sex, crying jags and revelations of purging on her part. I have come to the conclusion that there arent any "normal" women left in this country. So now have at me, let loose the dogs of rightous indignation against this "male chauvinist pig".

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» RE: this story is a fraud... Posted by: Constitutionalist75
» RE: this story is a fraud... Posted by: TruthBeTold
» RE: this story is a fraud... Posted by: AMERICAN VETERAN
Send the black man to prison, yes?
Posted by: angstotheclown on Sep 21, 2007 1:39 PM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Something else you will notice. An obviously conservative, white judge watches a well edited video of a black man "abusing" his wife [ did anyone see a real vicious beating or a woman being tossed on a bed, rolling around, half hearted slapping indicative of sexual play] and condemns the man to THIRTY SIX YEARS... far longer than he would have received had he killed her. Another in the one out of 4 or 5 of all black males sent to prison for "CRIMES", be they real or trumped up in the minds of gullible jurys and racist white judges.

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» Thank you HereticChick Posted by: TruthBeTold
» SILLY comments Posted by: TruthBeTold
» typical "liberal" doublespeak... Posted by: angstotheclown
It happened to me too...
Posted by: LunarSarah on Sep 21, 2007 6:28 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This video made me cry. Out of both sympathy for her and for myself. I went through this for seven years. However, my ex would always hit me in ways that wouldn't show publically. He isolated me away from my family, wouldn't let me talk to guys, etc. I think the thing that got me the most emotional about this new report is to see her three years later. When i had finally broken it off with my ex and moved on, I was able to become myself again. I slowly gained my self esteem back and became more lively and beautiful. Unfortunately a comment I got a lot was, "you don't look or act like someone who was abused." Am I supposed to? Is someone who gets beaten for seven years supposed to go on being broken after its finally over? It's encouraging to know that someone else who went through such abuse was able to also become a more lively, beautiful woman afterwards. Thank you for showing me that its okay to be myself again, even if it makes others' doubt what really happened. I wish I had a video of myself, curled up on the living room floor being kicked and smacked. Then maybe my ex would be behind bars instead of free to roam.

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» RE: It happened to me too... Posted by: blitzmesser
Face it, the marriage was over, she won the prize fight!
Posted by: Landbaron on Sep 21, 2007 8:11 PM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
She has full custody, lots of sympathy and access to every penny that weak minded fool is worth. She knew the precise psychological moment when to press each and everyone of his buttons. He's down for the count in this life, and so it goes, winner take all, loser takes fall, maybe more young men should read Ester Villar's book; "The Manipulated Man".

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Coward!
Posted by: tommy1957 on Sep 25, 2007 9:05 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Another cowardly man who picks on his weaker wife. If she would have cut off his balls and then the rest of him, she would be justified. I hope in prison, he becomes the abused by some guys who treat him like a; slut, stupid bitch, etc. For the victom in this article; your children need professional help or they inturn will be like their father. For the cowards of the world, I have 3 daughters and a baseball bat. You mess with my daughter that way, and she will not have to worry about it, I will first break your knees, then shatter your hands, then stake your coward ass on an ant pile and film them eating you alive. Now that's a keeper!

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A weak mind resorts to violence
Posted by: Landbaron on Sep 25, 2007 2:10 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This is a civilized society. Only the strong (minded) survive! If you like violence be a cop, bouncer, CO etc.

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