But God Bless Him For His CNN Pranks!

It's just too great to watch those self-aggrandising, arrogant assholes at CNN (especially Wolfie "Zionist Suckup" Blitzer and that anorexic bimbo, Daren Kagen) get pranged on National TV!

Sir Ossis

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I CAN'T STAND STERN EITHER BUT HE KNOWS HOW TO PICK A TARGET.

I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A USELESS, ODIOUS BUNCH OF BOOTLICKING NUMBSKULLS LIKE THOSE ON CNN.

HOW DO THEY GET A JOB? MUST BE THEY ARE TESTED AS TO HOW LONG THEY CAN MAINTAIN A SMILE DURING THESE EVENTS:

1. A TAPE-RECORDING OF FINGERNAILS BEING SCRATCHED ON A BLACKBOARD.

2. BUSH GIVING ONE OF HIS ENLIGHTENING PRESS CONFERENCES WHERE HE ACCUSES THE PRESS OF MAKING UP STORYS. LIKE ATTACKING IRAQ.

3. WATCHING VIDEOS OF OLD NUCLEAR TESTS WHERE LIVE PIGS WERE LOCKED IN CAGES PLACED IN THE PATH OF THE HEAT WAVE OF A TEST THAT LEFT THEM BLISTERED RAW AND SQUEALING

4. BAMBOO SPLINTERS DRIVEN UNDER THEIR FINGERNAILS AND LIT

5. A PROCTOLOGY EXAM WITHOUT LUBRICANT WITH A LEATHER WORK GLOVE

6. THEIR THUMBS BEING SMASHED WITH A HAMMER

7. THEIR PAYCHECKS BEING HELD UP FOR MONTHS THEN BEING PUT IN A PILE AND SET ON FIRE.

8. BEING SENT TO THE WORLD'S BEST BAGPIPER CONVENTION

9. HAVING TO TO WATCH EVERY PAULY SHORE MOVIE IN A REPEATING LOOP FOR DAYS WHILE SITTING IN A SLEEP-DEPRIVATION CHAIR THAT IS ELECTRIFIED.

SEEMS LIKE AN EVEN CONTEST TO ME.

DAVID T. GRAY
CLAREMONT, NH

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