Feminist Porn: Sex, Consent, and Getting Off

Posted by KaeLyn, Feministe at 11:14 AM on July 23, 2008.

Warning: May not be safe for work ... unless you are like me and work at Planned Parenthood. :) The links at the end of the article are definitely not work-safe and may contain adult content to be viewed only by people over the age of 18.

Feminism has a love/hate relationship with sex. The "Feminist Sex Wars" rage on and not just between second and third-wavers. I once spent an evening at a hole-in-the-wall strip club with a 20-something friend fiercely debating her anti-pornography/anti-prostitution position. We spent half an hour of that night talking with a dancer, a young single mom and the only woman-of-color on the floor. She said it was better than working at a grocery store; she made more money and didn't have to pay for day care. How could I blame her? It was niave and classist for us to engage her in this conversation, but I was in college and didn't know how stupid I was being. This also happened to be the night I bought my first vibrator, with that same friend, at a sleazy adult store in Syracuse, NY. Long story short is that I became passionate about the rights of sex workers and people that work in the sex/adult industry and began a more intelligent and articulate study of why I felt so compelled to defend pornography, prostitution, women's sexual pleasure, and my own sexual desires.

In the 60's and 70's, Andrea Dworkin led a brilliant fight to expose and illuminate rape culture and end violence against women. Her analysis of the gender binary, pornography, and theories of penetrative sex as a patriarchal act is at the titillating center of a lively and necessary conversation in the feminist community. I also believe the work of Dworkin and her peers has contributed to the division of lesbian and heterosexual feminists, persecution and demoralization of sex work and sex workers, exclusion of transfolk from feminist spaces, and a whole lot of personal feminist guilt. But I gotta' give kudos to Dworkin for putting rape culture on the map and, there are many awesome, inspiring, fabulous feminist leaders I admire who also happen to be card-carrying members of the anti-prostitution camp including Gloria Steinem and Robin Morgan.

All that said, a reproductive justice framework, in my mind, calls for the full rights of sex workers and a liberation of sexuality that goes beyond mainstream pornography and sex work. Don't women, and all people, have the right to control their bodies, access their sexual desires, and to enjoy safe and consensual sexual pleasure? And while the porn and sex/adult industry is currently geared towards men and definitely objectifies women, forgets women's pleasure, and supports an oppressive rape culture, I see a bigger solution than attempting to censor or criminalize sex. Like abortion, homosexuality, and other social issues that have been labeled "deviant" and make people uncomfortable, sex work and the sex trade will always go on, even if pushed underground. And legalization and support of sex work can open the door to helping the sex/adult industry become safer and healthier for sex workers and a more welcoming and affirming place for feminists and all people. I, and others in the pro-sex camp like Pat Califia and Betty Dodson, believe in a society that truly values gender justice, where women can make free and safe choices about sex and sexuality, be free from abuse and assault, and have available to them the same frank and authentic access to their sexual selves that Western culture affords men from the day they pop out of the womb.

Of course, it is more complicated then just embracing porn. I, obviously, do not condone human trafficking or sexual slavery. I do believe that legalizing sex work will help regulate and prosecute human trafficking and sexual slavery and will create human rights for sex workers. I do not believe that all pornography should be legal. Porn or sex work that involves minors, animals, killing of people or animals, and rape should be criminalized to the fullest extent of the law. I do think that pornography that include consensual sex between adults, including rape fantasy, incest taboo, BDSM, and other "kinky" sex should be legal and can be deconstructed and even embraced by feminist pedagogy.

So theories and pontificating aside, let's add reality to the mix. The reality of what women, even feminists, find pleasurable is not always politically correct. Sexuality is not neat and clean. I have talked to many feminist women who struggle to balance what really happens behind closed doors and what they feel the bedroom politics of a "good feminist" should be. Enjoying BDSM, strap-on sex and sex toys, genderplay, rape and incest taboo, mainstream pornography, and other "deviant" sexual taboos with a consensual partner does not make a person a "bad feminist" or a hypocrite. To the contrary, feminism is what gave me permission to love sex, with myself and with others, to embrace my sexual orientation, and find out what turns me on. Pro-sex feminism argues that recognizing the role of fantasy in sexual arousal and coming out of shame about sexual desires opens the door to a more frank and honest discussion about women's bodies, consent, and safer sex. And that leads to better, safer sex that encourages communication and complete, enthusiastic consent to sex that is fulfilling and healthy. How is that not feminist?

Feminist porn is out there. In my opinion, feminist porn represents a diverse cross-section of people and is woman-friendly, queer-friendly, open to many interpretations of beauty, and is, at best, political and woman-owned. I've listed some sites that I really admire to stimulate thought and discussion. Please do not visit the sites listed under "Feminist Porn" if you are under the age of 18 and be aware that any of the links may contain adult content. Note that I did NOT include Suicide Girls, as I do not personally feel that Suicide Girls is a feminist porn site and, apparently, neither does Lauren (Rock on, Feministe!). I realize that I may be opening a huge can of worms by addressing feminist pornography, so while I am really interested in hearing others' thoughts about this topic, I ask that everyone keep their comments respectful and intelligent. Here's my top picks!

Feminist Porn Sites

Heather Corrina

The goddess herself. Also check out her sex-positive webzine and teen sexual health site.

Erotic Red

Feminist menstruation porn by women of all shapes and sizes who are, naturally and authentically, on their period. As the woman who runs the site writes, "In an industry where photos of women being throat-fucked and pissed on are commonplace portrayals of human sexuality, women enjoying themselves on their periods are viewed by most pornographers as horrifyingly obscene." Erotic Red is out to change that.

VegPorn

One of my fav's with models of all shapes and sizes. This site features only vegetarian and vegan models and is very inclusive of gender and sexual diversity including queer and trans models. It's also woman-owned. I've thought of applying to model here, but am somewhat afraid of losing my job or causing a local scandal...which is usually a sign that you should not do something!

No Fauxxx

"Porn that doesn't fake it!" A great site with self-proclaimed "radical porn" that is inclusive of all natural body types and embraces queer and transfolk. Porn with a political edge.

Good Dyke Porn

A brilliant new site based out of Vancouver with all lesbian, bisexual, queer women and transfolk artists. I especially love this site because they go out of their way to eroticize safer sex. You'll see lots of gloves, dental dams, condoms, lube, and consensual kink on this site.

Furry Girl The official site of Furry Girl, who also owns and runs Erotic Red and VegPorn and a vegan sexual aid shop. Furry Girl is an all-natural, hairy, self-proclaimed feminist that really gets the difference between the mainstream sex industry and pro-sex feminist pornography.

Nerd PrOn This is not just some schoolgirl fantasy bullshit. Yes, this woman is putting herself through college with her porn site, but she is super brainy and proud of it. And yes, she writes the code for her site herself.

Berg's Queer Foot Porn

Berg is a close friend of mine. Her site may or may not actually be porn...it's up for debate, but this website is brilliant. It is a feminist deconstruction of women's pleasure and a manifesta against violence against women. Coming from an anti-rape perspective, Berg's critique of society and sexuality is truly poignant. I encourage you to check it out.

Other Stuff of Interest

Jane Sexes It Up: True Confessions of Feminist Desire

An excellent collection of essays from Gen Xers who are struggling to articulate answers to the questions left by the Feminist Sex Wars. Why do women still settle for unsatisfying sex? What does a thoughtful feminist do about her politically incorrect fantasies? Is heterosexual romance incompatible with female self-determination? Edited by Merri Lisa Johnson and a good, quick read for anyone interested in pro-sex feminism.

Live Nude Girls UNITE!

Fabulous documentary about the journey of the women at the Lusty Lady as they form a union and demand fair treatment in the workplace, a "peepshow" in San Francisco.

SF Gate article on the 2008 Feminist Porn Awards

Bust Girl Wide Web

Bust mag hosts a listing of woman-friendly services and websites, including a section called Sex-E that includes feminist and woman-friendly porn.

Author's Note: The adult dancer that I spoke of was not, in my opinion, offered a full range of choices to best care for her family or herself. And that model of male-centered sex work is demeaning to women, in my opinion. However, I don't want to categorize her as a "poor sex worker with a ruined life." That is offensive to her and the personal decision she made. I don't think she saw herself that way to begin with. And thank you for pointing out that me buying a vibrator and the choices this woman made are not even in the same ballpark. I was pointing them out as separate events, but truly they are not the same and the choices I'm afforded as a college-educated, middle-class, women of privileged should be pointed out. Thanks for that.

Tagged as: feminist porn, sex, empowerment, feminist sex wars, glbt, misogyny, sex work, human trafficking