Do Jerks Get Laid More?

Posted by Jill Filipovic, Feministe at 8:00 AM on June 24, 2008.

Apparently.

Two hundred college students took personality tests and were also asked about their number of sexual partners. Only the young men showed a direct correlation between ‘dark’ traits,’ like narcissism, and notches on the bed post.

Another study of 35,000 people across 57 countries found a similar correlation ‘between the dark triad and reproductive success in men.’ This data says little about whether these guys are also capable of long-term, lasting relationships, though; it simply what bad boy behaviors will allegedly woo someone into bed.

Unfortunately, this study is being interpreted as “women like assholes.” Well, no. Let’s think this one through: This isn’t about how often someone gets laid, it’s about how many sexual partners someone has — those aren’t the same thing. If you’re in a relationship, chances are you’re sleeping with fewer people than a sexually active single person (yeah, there’s cheating and there are open relationships, but generally, couples at least attempt to be monogamous). People in relationships may be having more sex than single people, but that doesn’t matter for this particular study. And, considering that this
study was conducted on college-age men (meaning, generally under the age of 22), the ones with large numbers of sexual partners probably haven’t been in a whole ton of committed relationships — that is, they just haven’t had enough time for their numbers to rack up through serial monogamy. In other words, these are the dudes that chicks want to fuck, not date seriously (and likewise, they’re also dudes who just want to fuck and not date anyone seriously). Further, as people in the comments to this post immediately noted, narcissistic assholes are also likely to over-report the number of sexual partners they’ve had.

And we’re supposed to be shocked that a disproportionate number of them demonstrate “dark” traits like narcissism?

Now, I’m not saying that people who bone a lot of different people are narcissists; simply that when you’re 20, having a large number of sexual partners is probably an indication that you’ve spent a decent amount of time being single or in a non-monogamous relationship. And, not that single people are more likely to be narcissists, just that
narcissists are by virtue of being narcissistic probably less likely to be in relationships and more likely to seek out sexual attention from others. So of course their numbers of over-represented in the “guys who have had lots of sexual partners” category — especially when that category is already tainted by guys who lie about the number of sexual partners they’ve had.

It has almost nothing to do with what women like, unless by “like” you mean “like to bone once or twice.” I know it’s easy to forget that sometimes women have sex just to have sex and not because they actually like you that much, but it happens. It’s not always a matter of bad boys wooing vulnerable women into bed and then leaving them; it’s often two people who are both interested in just sex picking each other and calling it a day. Of course, there are no doubt some women who are suckered in by narcissistic jerks; there are also some dudes who are suckered in by narcissistic jerks (just as a Nice Guy). But sex isn’t always a trick men play on women. What kind of men women choose to partner with is probably a better indication of what women actually like.

Tagged as: politics, sex, evolution