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Church 'N' State: Mississippi Sponsors Abstinence Fair

Posted by General JC Christian, Jesus' General at 2:25 PM on September 18, 2009.


An open letter.

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Editor's note: It's satire, folks!

The Holy Virgins of Mississippi

Don Thompson

Executive Director

Mississippi Department of Human Services

 

Dear

Mr. Thompson,

I hear your annual Abstinence Fair and Wash Yourself in the Blood of Jesus Expo is coming up. I'm hoping you'll use it to celebrate yesterday's announcement that Mississippi tops the nation in the number of teen pregnancies. That's quite an accomplishment for a state that promotes abstinence as ferociously as Glenn Beck hankers for a Wendy's Frosty™.

I'm a bit worried, however, that many will not fully grasp what this honor truly means. I mean, my gosh, a single case of immaculate conception is a genuine miracle and you've experienced tens of thousands. That's amazing, especially since it's occurring now, at a time when the Antichrist is alive and feasting on the corpses of Christian children somewhere deep within his White House lair.

I can't wait to watch as all these children grow strong as they temper themselves in the fires of poverty, incarceration, and societal neglect and emerge into adulthood, fully prepared for a life of servitude.

We have your abstinence policies to thank for that.

Heterosexually yours,

 

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

 

Digg!

Tagged as: religion, wing-nuts, mississippi

General JC Christian is a devout conservative and the proprietor of Jesus' General.


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Frank Zappa said best what should be said here,
Posted by: pelican beak on Sep 18, 2009 2:44 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
in his song about much fun those "Catholic Girls" really are.

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What Cult 'Washes' themselves in Blood sacrifics?
Posted by: Purple Girl on Sep 19, 2009 4:47 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
What Cults glorifies the sacrific of the Innocent to appease their 'God'?
Frankly I find the Idolization of the Crucifix to be a clear indication as to what these people revere. Torture and Murder is inherent in that symbol. Anyone ever wonder why it's Called the 'Roman' Catholic Church? Why it's called the 'Throne of Peter' and not Christ?
Since the ROMAN Catholic Church is the primordial Ooze from which all other so called 'Christian' religions slithered out of we must assume they are all innately contaminated with Heresy and Deceit.
If we start from the premise that Peter Highjacked the Religion to glorify himself- all events that have followed over the last few millenia begin to make sense. How many have died in the name of this Religion- who many have slaughtered their Neighbors and brothers in it's name? This not only ignores the Teachings of Christ- It is a mortal sin as defined by the 10 Commandements.
Beyond that, according to the Big 10- Worhsip of Idols is strictly forbidden- but isn't that what the image of Christ and the Cruxifix is?
If Christ was the 'Son of God' - He was NOT God, merely a son. If Christ was the 'embodiement' of God- then He was merely a fleshy vessel used by God as a means to communicate with us- The Latern is not the 'Genie' that performs 'miracles', Just it's container.
Further explain what 'sins' Christ died For- Apathy, Greed, Murder....Humans Murdered Christ. We should not be patting ourselves on the Back by displaying the means by which we committed this Grave Sin- but seek atonement for it. Why worship the symbol of human transgression?
and since we committed this monumental sin of Killing the 'Son of God' or the Vessel which he used to commune with us- How could it be that Christ Died for our sins, when we committed a monumental sin in the process? If he Died for our past sins, Torturing and Murdering him was in Sin in and of itself. We began to accumulate more 'sin' from that moment- "Forgive them for they know not what they do".
By Cruxifying Christ We failed the 'Test'. Christ was the lamb and We slaughtered him.
I will not glorify that act by wearing it around my neck, worshipping it and kissing it. Nor would I partake in a ritual which requires the Blood of an innocent be shed so that I may 'Wash' myself in it- Or Drink it. A Mortal sin must first be committed for that sick ritual to take place.
What passes as 'Christianity' is some twisted shit that has no relevance to Christs' teachings. These are blood thirsty pagan rituals with Satanic Justifications.
Worship and Serve whatever you want but don't malign Christ or bastardize the 'Word' to do so.
These are not True Christians their Words and their deeds over the last few millenia prove that!

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Editor's note: It's satire, folks!
Posted by: jmmartin on Sep 19, 2009 12:09 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Why did you have to tell us and spoil it all?

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