Right-Wing Culture Warriors Warn of Atheist Attack on Thanksgiving!
Posted by Joshua Holland, AlterNet on November 26, 2009 at 2:36 PM.

Michael Tomasky notes that the annual "War on Christmas" has started early this holiday season. But that's old hat -- mainstream stuff that's become just another part of the old holiday spirit among the Fox News set.

If you don't delve into the deeper, darker recesses of the conservative Borg-collective, as Roy Edroso does so bravely each week, then you might enjoy a fine, gluttonous meal today oblivious to the fact that secular hordes are now gunning for Thanksgiving:

HAPPY WAR ON THANKSGIVING! Yes, I was just having a bit of fun, but apparently it's a real menace, says Christian Newswire:

America once was content in allowing civil authorities to select and define its holidays. With the increasing influence of groups which use the courts to challenge any comingling of religion and the function of government, the definition of the some of the nation's holidays have become a war zone.

And while most Americans think of Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas as Christian holidays -- history is clear that Easter and Christmas were originally pagan celebrations, stolen and redefined.

This leaves Thanksgiving as the one American holiday originating within Christian culture. It is a holiday created to remind a nation to thank God. So while talk-show hosts expound upon a war on Christmas -- let's not ignore the war on the one true Christian holiday, Thanksgiving.

Their evidence of this is that Obama said "we observe traditions from every culture" in his Thanksgiving address. George Washington, conversely, referred frequently to God. The word has spread and muskets are loaded.

Another very fine example of Thomas Franks' "conservative plenty-plaint" -- the endless laundry-list of petty cultural grievances pretending to be a coherent political ideology.

And it's funny that anyone could even begin to think that Thanksgiving is a "Christian" holiday. If we believe the tale of the first Thanksgiving told to us in 4th grade -- that the pilgrims got together with a group of Native Americans to celebrate an especially bountiful harvest in 1621 -- then what we have is some Christians sitting down with a bunch of animists to celebrate the harvest festival common to basically every agricultural society in the history of mankind. The idea that Pagans celebrated versions of Easter and Christmas but not the seasonal harvest is crazy talk.

As Roy was researching some right-wing bloggers' dispatches from the War on Thanksgiving, he got suckered by a "satire troll" worth quoting for a laugh:

However, the last few years I have seen a constant assault on Thanksgiving. First we have people having pasta or sushi and not turkey. Now we have people calling Thanksgiving, Turkey Day, Gobble Day or Gobble Gobble Day. Then there is the advertising, "Gobble up Savings", "Don't be a Turkey and Pay Too Much". And of course there is the Black Friday sales and if that were not enough we now have Pre-Thanksgiving or Pre-Turkey Day sales.

When will it end?!

When, indeed? Until it does, have a happy Secular War on Thanksgiving.