The Power of Panties For Peace

Posted by General JC Christian, Jesus' General at 2:04 PM on July 24, 2008.

I know Burma is just about as evil as Venezuela and Massachusetts, but I am very concerned about this approach to making change there:

The Panties for Peace campaign was launched by the women's organization Lanna Action for Burma (LAB) on Oct. 16, 2007, in the hopes of bringing an end to the military regime's rampant abuse of Burma's population -- and the abuse of Burma's women in particular.

[...]

The Panties for Peace campaign plays on the regime leaders' superstitious fear that contact with a woman's underpants will rob them of their power. Women around the world are asked to post their panties to local Burmese embassies in a bid to strip the regime of its power and bring an end to its gross violations of human rights, especially those committed against Burma's women.

What if the same tactics were used here? We all know how effective panties can be. They were an important part of our enhanced interrogation approach at Abu Ghraib. Do we want that kind of power turned against us?

At the very least, a panties attack could destroy our electoral chances in November -- remember how sweaters sapped Our Presumed Leader's masculine vitality; imagine what a nice tiger striped thong would do to him. He might as well start singing show tunes now.

Some might say, "it can't happen here," but I'm here to warn you that it can. A fifth column of pantie warriors has arisen in the netroots. There is no-telling what damage they can do if we don't stop them now. That's why I am asking you to contact your congressman and demand legislation outlawing all feminine undergarments other than pantaloons -- pantaloons are OK because a man can wear them too (yes, there is nothing wrong with that, dammit) -- and, in order to get Sen. Vitter's backing, diapers as well.

Tagged as: peace, netroots, mccain, burma, panties, sen. vitter, sweaters

General JC Christian is a devout conservative and the proprietor of Jesus' General.