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Florida Couple Busted for Having Sex on Church Altar

Posted by Pam Spaulding, Pam's House Blend at 6:59 AM on March 22, 2008.


Sally Kerns or Jim Naugles talk about my ability to destroy civilization when they can't keep their own horny, depraved heteroworld in order.

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I simply don't want to hear any more from the Sally Kerns or Jim Naugles of the world about my ability to destroy civilization when they cannot even keep their own horny, depraved heteroworld in order.

In this story out of Sanderson, Florida, we also learn about an alternative spelling for brassiere. That or the woman was going to toss a few shrimp on the barbie after the holy rolling.

Deputies in Baker County arrested a couple caught having sex in a church. Baker County Sheriff's Deputies say they received a call about a suspicious person outside the Mount Zion Primitive Baptist Church, on the night of March 11th.

..."Her drawers [were] in the stands. Her brazier was over on the outside the stands," Deacon Lonzie Altman recalled from his conversation with deputies.
According to the offense report, deputies found Crystal Rowland, 24, behind the altar. Rowland was taken into custody. She told deputies that Matthew Pearce, 28, was still inside. Deputies found him underneath the church, partially dressed.
Red tea candles were also collected from the church. Deputies say there was splattered red wax all over the altar. "I don't know what has become of the people [that] somebody would just do something like that in a church," said Altman.
...When asked why they decided to have sex inside the church, police say Rowland told them she wanted a "spiritual and sexual experience."
..."Don't think that the lord ain't got something for them," said Altman.

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Tagged as: sex, religion

Pam Spaulding blogs at Pam's House Blend.


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Giving Communion
Posted by: QQOblivion on Mar 22, 2008 8:01 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
So... the bishop gave communion to all that is holy, eh?

Sorry, couldn't resist. (I bet someone else can come up with a much better joke than I have, maybe involving the church "organ".)

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"Be fruitful, and multiply" (Genesis 1:28)
Posted by: LeftWright on Mar 22, 2008 8:52 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. King James version

It doesn't get much more primitive than that, eh?

(Perhaps they got busted for using birth control?)

AlterNet, thanks for keeping up with the most important news. You wouldn't want to miss something insignificant like this.

The truth shall set us free. Love is the only way forward.

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Redneck love
Posted by: bettyn on Mar 22, 2008 9:03 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Where was the snake when all this was going on? Normally, I expect them to "HANDLE" him and have a threesome!

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Rite of initiation?
Posted by: nochicagoboys on Mar 22, 2008 11:54 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Almost sounds like a Skull & Bones initiation to me. Are they Yalies by any chance?

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» RE: Rite of initiation? Posted by: joeunix
love and the church
Posted by: shikejian on Mar 22, 2008 1:34 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Wow! Imagine how sinful: love in the Church. The same church founded upon god's rape of a virgin. Great balls afire!
jimsecor

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I made the old remark to a fellow worker one day,
Posted by: bitsfick on Mar 22, 2008 2:03 PM   
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"move over baby the beds wet" no idea what I was talking about. Did I say he had been married for years. I also said to his wife, "woman of the world unite, let him sleep in the wet spot tonight" Still nothing. I told him to give mama a little extra tonight and buy her a sex toy. That, please excuse the expression Blew his mind. I have had some very adventurous woman in my life, none who ever wanted to have sex in a church, but if I had found one I would have done it. I bet they get horny as hell everytime they think about having been caught.

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To go together is blessed, but to
Posted by: bitsfick on Mar 22, 2008 2:06 PM   
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come together is Divine.

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If she climaxed and said "OH GOD"
Posted by: AMERICAN VETERAN on Mar 22, 2008 4:39 PM   
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would she get an answer?lol

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Maybe...
Posted by: MyLeftFoot on Mar 23, 2008 5:16 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
they were in an 'altared' state...

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