Women who claim to be progressive will claim they don't care about money and power: don't believe them. They wouldn't obsess about careers if they didn't care about money and power. These two things are the greatest aphrodesiacs available: much better than goat's horn and other potions peddled by Chinese men.

If women didn't care about money and power, then ugly guys with money or power wouldn't get laid: yet, we always see these guys getting laid by women, who in the beauty department, are out of their league.

Women have long loved power and money: that's why they say behind every successful man, there is a woman.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

'bobsays' made an important observation in the above comment. There's also a larger Assertion being made in the Cultural Program of the Free Marketeers, and it's aimed at both sexes: Principles are for Sale or, There's Nothing Really Terrible about Whore-dom (male and female).

Tina Turner said it: What's Love got to do with It?"

Nietzsche said it: Will to Power.

It seems that holidays are clearer examples of Advertising being a mirror to the culture and individuals it serves.

A diamond is the purest symbolic example of the edict: "I don't give a crap about Others and have the means to keep it that way." Hence its 'value'.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Has the author considered that jewelers know their client base "intimately"? They spend alot of money studying them.
And I appreciate the women (and men) who wear expensive minerals as a warning that they don't just want dinner and a movie.
Anybody who watches commercials is pretty much a ho anyway.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Some of those ads are funny. The only ones I ever see are the shmaltzy ones where he gives her the ring in an oyster shell at the yuppie restaurant.

Commercials are inherently materialistic, so what's the point of complaining? How is Bob going to sell diamonds by telling you that you can't buy her affections, and that you should just take her for a nice moonlight walk and tell her she's special?

If Bob is going to interrupt my TV shows, he could at least make the ads funny. I'd rather laugh than puke.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGdEhBvMUVA
Back in the days when we had a sense of humor. Rip Tragle

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

I've read books by evolutionary psychologists (e.g., Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters) that say the same thing - women want to marry men with power and money. I've seen it many times. But there's another side to that equation. Women want rich men, but many of them are willing to cheat on these rich men with poor but handsome men.

I'm 6', 195 lbs at 10% body fat, green eyes, a full head of frankly luxurious wavy hair, and I'm 99% percentile (over 8") in the other height measurement. I'm from a working-class family, and for a while, I pursued a career that was aimed at helping my fellow human beings more than it was aimed at making good money. I had plenty of women who wanted to have sex with me, no strings attached, and a few who actually cheated on their shorter, fatter, dumber, glasses-wearing boyfriends. One was worried she got pregnant and plotted to pass the spawn off as her boyfriend's. This was because these short, fat, stupid men were from richer families that were able to put them through schools with no student loans, set them up with cars and houses right out of graduation, and in some cases, even gave them high-paying jobs.

After a few years, I got wise to the way things work, and I got out of social work and got a job in IT, tripling my income instantly. I was at my IT job for one week before I met my wife. If I was still working in social work, I'm certain that I'd never have attracted my wife, except perhaps for quick rebound sex from one of her previous relationships.

The lesson is this: women want men with money and good family connections as husbands. Many, however, are willing to take handsome, genetically-gifted men who don't have as much money for lovers.

If you're some 5'8," pot-bellied, balding creep who had the good fortune of being born to a dad who's a senior law partner or a banker, you've probably got a pretty hot chick because of your Lexus and big house. But I'd keep a close eye on your hot wife or girlfriend. I never knowingly cheated with anyone, but I've unwittingly cuckolded a good number of you guys because your girls want some hot sex with a tall athletic stud while their fat, ugly rich husbands are toiling away at the office. This is no joke. Be warned. Some of you might already be raising the babies of guys like me without even knowing it.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

No, most women don't authentically like diamonds- they're BRAINWASHED into liking them!

The media makes them want diamonds.

Folks, I see two possibilities: This individual either knows f*ck-all about most women (in which case she's a moron) or she needs to start taking some big-time meds.

What we have here, friends, is a full-scale failure to comprehend how the media system works.

No, not a failure. A REFUSAL.

Gather 'round children. Amanda- stop putting those Legos in your mouth! Teacher has a lesson for you.

You see, kids... people who advertise their products wish to make money, not brainwash women into mopping the floor or whatever the hell you think Teh Patriarkee is up to this week.

Advertisers are serous folks, and so before they are released, commercials are tested on groups which drawn from the indended audiences to judge their responses.

Guess what, kids? If the test audience doesn't respond the right way? The commercial probably don't air. Now you think about that for a sec.

These commercials probably exist the way they do because women in the test audiences responded to them. Did I lose anyone?

Amanda? Get your finger out of your nose. Teacher isn't done talking.

If you really have such a dim view of women's mental acuity, that they are easily duped and suckered into wanting diamonds that they don't actually want, then maybe it would be more consistent to do-away with that whole women's sufferage thing. If women are so easily brainwashed by media hocus-pocus, God knows who they might vote for?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Websters defines a whore as anyone having any kind of sex outside of marriage: female or male, both are whores.
By that definition virtually everyone I have known is a whore including me, my parents, sisters, brother, aunts and uncles and just about everyone I have ever known except my virgin son who I expect to give that up as soon as the right whore comes along to pop his virginity.
The people pushing abstinence are all whores living the oldest double standard of all: sexual denial; control and manipulation by the Cult of the Covenant of the Chopped Cocks in the Land of the Whores of Babylon.

IM
Belteshazzar

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Cripes you 'guys' get a grip. Yes there is a percentage of women who are nothing more than money-hungry, power-hungry, gold diggers but cmon, there is still the other percentage who are not. Just as there is a percentage of arrogant, self-centered egotistical bastards who treat women as second rate objects, there is the other percentage who are not.

The point of this article was to show just how insulting these advertisements are to both genders and how we need to avoid falling into the trap of believing or supporting the messages, not to have people creeping out and making their 'personal experience and joe-bob over-paid psychologists "study" that proves woman are nothing more than expensive whores' as public testament to the validity of such stereotypes.

If you keep fanning the flames of these kind of ignorant claims, it's only going to exacerbate the problem and not do any good for anyone proclaiming to be progressive.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

for most of the history of humankind women were chattel, and in many places of the world they still are.

interesting that guys here are complaining that women can be bought or sold when historically, because of the power structure created by men women didn't have any other choice.

and today, women don't make as much money as men, and that isn't womens' choice either. especially now that most women don't have the luxury of staying home to raise kids if they choose, and still most of the childrearing and housekeeping chores fall on them, of course women look for good earners as a life partner or father for their kids. and in my experience, it's a bigger trap for the woman than the man.

and buddy, if you can't please a woman, it's your fault. i and all of my women friends like or even LOVE SEX. it's not just a fantasy created in porn movies. the first step? learn to love a woman, not a body attached to a pretty face.

and what woman in her right mind would want to be with a man who hold the opinions of her as bobsays or jasonix? give me a short bald guy with no money but lots of love to give anyday.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

There are 6 billion or so people on this planet. Some desire power and money. Some love. Some just want to survive. Some want to look good. ETC.
We are all individuals. If you despise these ads then they are not aimed at you. Raise yourself and families to not let ads tell you what you are.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Hey--I'm a gay whore. He can buy me off any day. Str8's make life so sadly complicated.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

I see those ads with husbands lavishing diamonds and cars on their spouses. Were they one of those hundreds of thousands of victims who had refinanced their homes and used the money to buy junk foolishing betting that the house value will rise forever!!! Ironically, now they'd be forced to sell their valuables for pennies on the dollar just to survive thanks to their own shortsightedness.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Most men with money are such reprehensible indefensible assholes that they would have to buy "love" and affection from women under ANY conditions. Not to mention they only want a woman under 30, no matter how old THEY are. So don't blame the women; there are a handful in this world who are truly beautiful on the inside, as well as a lesser handful that grew up as ugly ducklings that blossomed that never learned to ply via their looks, who don't sell themselves.

And don't blame Madison Avenue either; there is no more useless crap with more horrific political baggage in the world than diamonds.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

I have seen more ads for cheesy diamond settings this year than during any other Christmas buying orgy I can remember. Could it be that diamond merchants are having more trouble than ever selling these declasse baubles? No woman I know, including my wife, cares a damn about diamonds. (And I wouldn't doubt that the film, "Blood Diamonds' has not helped one bit.)

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Not that people must work (unless born with the proverbial silver spoon). But that everything is for sale? Including likes and dislikes? All is a commodity? Including people, one by one?

Don't you realize that opposition to such beliefs makes you a communist? Or at least a religious nut?

Ownership is what it's all about. You can own property or you can own yourself. Simple cultures showed us that it's not necessarily a forced choice. But Western and every other complicated civilization I know about has struggled with the choice and largely lost.

So long as the price is right, even our own suicide, we are for sale. How else do you explain our willingness to develop and deploy the means of our own extinction and sleep at night?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

For Bobsays and the rest of you who believe that "all" women can be purchased & are attracted to power & money, I want you to know that you're getting exactly what you deserve. Shallow people are attracted to each other, apparently. I'm sad for you but wouldn't want to be anywhere near you and your self-delusion.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

(Man) "Would you go to bed with someone for ten million dollars?"

(Woman) "Yes."

(Man) "Would you go to bed with me for ten dollars?"

(Woman) "No! What do you think I am?!"

(Man) "We've already established that; now we're just haggling over the price."

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

It's no surprise that there is a lot of emotion in the responses to this article. A few well-framed comments like "somegirl's" show it's not all knee-jerk, spontaneous reaction....

I will say that, as a single older male (by choice, in conjunction with my destitute lifestyle!), I consider my friend's and their wives often, and I think everyone is equally being manipulated by our material culture, rather than a purely gender-specific hegemony. I agree that the patriarchal nature of most societies is a potentially problematic issue, but the complexity and interrelated areas of our lives (economic/workplace/private/social)make it hard to point to one factor alone as the source of trouble.

We all know that women are the most productive members of society overall: including the real work of housekeeping and child-rearing, that is. In the West, we've been able to indulge in more self-serving behaviour than many other cultures, however, and so this leads to a different appraisal of what's important in our lives. Physical perfection and material display have become major preoccupations for us, and that is what is causing problems.

People don't love their jobs anymore; they love their 'careers'. For the same reason, mate selection is a strategy: we may not look forward to marriage, but if there are high stakes involved (comfortable lifestyle; exceptional sex), well, we act on THAT impulse instead. But is that a realistic expectation to have toward a companion in the long run?

I see people falling into the trap in varying degrees. Western women tend to expect a few significant things from their men besides loving companionship: a decent place to live and potential to support a family. This is practically the norm. And men would expect to be appreciated for this role. Fair enough.

What happens from here is that we are coerced into upping the ante: you get a house, and it's quite fine, but then your brother-in-law buys a bigger house for his wife, and suddenly your wife is thinking that she could do better, too. Not always, but I've watched this scenario play out in many variations. It takes time, and is not something as easy as saying "But I'm not like that!" (not now, at this point in time, maybe... but in a few years...?)

There are huge forces at work on us all the time, and it can't be reduced to a gender issue alone. It IS possible to see it as part of class struggle, however, and that's where a lot of this crass marketing and attitude implanting is coming from... building desire and commodifying the most intimate areas of our lives. Be conscious of this, and understand your weaknesses in the face of this.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Who in the world takes advertising literally?....or seriously for that matter? For at least 2 decades, advertisers have been preying on the insecurities of women and now, having maxed out that avenue, they are turning to men and have already started with the children for christ's sake. So, how does it feel, men? Do you feel like you're not good enough, not "man" enough, you don't have enough money or power? Welcome to our world. Wait until they start making you feel insecure about the size of your butt or your boobs. It's coming.

Being a single woman in NYC in my early thirties - I would be elated if I could find a man to take me out to dinner or show up on time. To show me the basic respect that I show him. To act with honor and integrity. To be honest. That's what I want for Christmas. But (sigh) I don't think we'll be seeing ads for any of those things anytime soon.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

I always thought there was something creepy about the Kay Jewelers slogan, "Every kiss begins with Kay."

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

"This Christmas, take her breath away."

"Why don't thay say what they really mean. Diamonds,....THAT'll shut her up.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

This article has indeed provoked emotional reactions. The assertions that women are in love with power and money and can be bought depending on the price is enough to get many of us more than a little defensive. By the same token, men get more than a little defensive when women make statements like "men are only interested in sex" or "men are just insensitive." Any time general cliches about groups of people are made, it's likely that someone is being falsely accused.

That's what political correctness is about - it's not about making everyone equal, it's about respecting everyone as an individual and refraining from stereotypes.

Not all women love money, not all men are jerks. For some reason, the battle of the sexes seems to generate a more emotional response than almost any other issue. Maybe that's because most people have had at least one bad experience in their relationships.

In my experience (at the age of 60, I've had a fair share), people can't be lumped together because of their age, sexual orientation, gender, race, ethnic background, religion, or even political affiliation. I'm a "militant" agnostic of the "I don't know and you don't either" variety, but I have mormon, mainstream Christian, atheist, and Jewish friends. I'm a progressive far-left liberal, but I have some real politically wingnut friends. I'm hetersexual, but I've got a number of homosexual, some transexual, and some bi-sexual friends and family. The defining characteristics that allow this are kindness, generosity, tolerance, love, respect, mutual interests, love of art and music, and many other qualities that make a connection.

It's not what we believe or whether we are born male or female that defines who we are. Anyone can be difficult, greedy, insensitive, or foolish.

Advertisements are not a reflection of life. They often pander to our worst instincts and they strike at our emotional weaknesses. That does not mean that they are demonstrations of what people are really like.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Bitterness is about as attractive as desperation.

plur

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

for writing this article!!!!!!

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Most women ARE glorified whores. Do you see women running to marry a pauper?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

My cousin married a girl who needs 400.00 hair cuts from the most trendy salons in NY. He can afford her but why he chose her, I can't imagine.
From 18.00 SuperCuts girl.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

"This year,

remind her who she works for

by giving her

a bonus!"

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

I can't blame them for that. They marry doctors.

They also want love, someone whose heart isn't cold as ice.

Within those parameters, women put out for doctors, for bald fat ugly guys who are loaded, and for some real losers who just managed to act loving for a night.

A lifetime love or a soul mate is a big gamble, and people ante up big time, both men and women, both with big money and with sexual availability. That's when the diamond merchants swoop in.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

My boyfriend just gave me my Christmas present a little early. It's a nice notebook (which, to be truly mercenary about it, probably cost around $10) into which he copied 100 pages of poems - some of my favorites, some of his - by hand, so I'd have something to take with me when I go abroad for a few months. He's been working on it since the beginning of November.
I can't imagine a better or more thoughtful gift. Any woman who'd prefer diamond earrings over such a considerate and heartfelt present deserves being bought.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

This was a poignant article. How many of us feel pressured to buy something that may take six months to a year to pay off, and wondering if the gift would make her love us in the end?
A diamond necklace? A new BMW 7 Series? A trip to some remote Pacific island?
Regardless, money can't buy love-albeit temporary.
But I detest the thought that we can call women whores and name the price for their affection if it's right. Is this an idea from Donna Summer's "Bad Girls"?
No one should feel pressure-both women and men-to buy a gift that may lead to more debt. The idea, then, is to share our love and desire for each other-and that is something you cannot put a price on.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

When people respond to what they look for in a partner, men and women respond similarly, expressing preferences for intelligence, personality, humor, etc., but somewhere the lists diverge, with women saying career for men and men saying good body for women. There is some truth to the idea that women want successful men, but no more true than men focus on women's bodies. Regardless, there is much more to the mix. Are there women that marry for money? Sure. Are there men that only care about women's looks? Sure.

Simplistically, women can be categorized as looking for providers or exciters. I'm in the exciter category, and most of my partners have been my own age, similar in education and appearance. I am fairly successful, with a six-figure income, athletic fitness, and height, but my partners have never been women looking for a provider, the proverbial breadwinner. I wouldn't want them anyway.

Many women looking for successful men are successful and ambitious in their own right, and maybe the hostility comes from men snubbed by successful women, and don't realize that they are being snubbed because of class issues, not just a lack of money.

One also wonders if hostility expressed toward women in these forums on this kind of topic is a Republican slant, knowing the obvious anti-egalitarian stance of the right wing, and knowing that men are proportionally more Republican than women. The derision expressed about women, seems more a tool to intimidate and oppress, rather than a legitimate complaint.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Don't people realize that little African kids get their limbs hacked off over these stupid rocks? There is nothing that would get me to wear one.

On the other hand, there is nothing that would get me to marry an idiot who thought he could buy me, or tolerate a guy who thinks sex is a commodity. That eliminates a lot of guys in this world.

I guess these guys are getting what they paid for - venal, soulless women who care more about money than who they have to sleep with to get it. The fact is that there are plenty of men just this pathetic, and plenty of women just that cold. Both genders can be shallow and greedy. The question is when will we create a society that stops rewarding this behavior by making it look cool?

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Some of the comments here make me shudder. I was married to a guy who took ten years to figure out women do like Christmas and Birthday presents. He was also the most honorable, gentle, humble, sweet human being. All I can say to some of these men is you get what you give. If you think sex is a commodity to be bought, how sad for you. You will never feel anything deeper than your cynacism will let you. An old friend of mine informed me 80% of women marry to be supported and 50% of children don't belong to the legal father. I asked him how it was that he loved sex so much and held women in such low regard, havn't heard from him in awhile, oh, and what a terrible surprise-he is a christian conservative. Amazing how their faith allows for all the sexual freedom they require, and all the materialism they need to buy it and mutual respect, friendship, and personal responsibility totally escape them. Somewhere my late husband is smiling-he never could stand that guy!

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

It's easy to get caught up in straw man thinking and hasty generalizations. Keep in mind that people who spend time using their brains at boards like these are probably not going to fit the easy gender stereotypes.

As a woman, though, I must say I get heartily tired of co-workers talking about what their boyfriends/husbands give them. I've also recently received an email parodying tech support questions about a computer program where supposedly the woman upgraded from boyfriend 5.0 to husband 1.0 and now the flowers 1.0 and jewelry 1.0 have malfunctioned. WOMEN are forwarding this!! Why, oh why, must we perpetuate these harmful stereotypes? Don't men do enough of that?

If I want something, I buy it. Usually books or computer equipment. My husband does the same. We rarely buy each other anything. He spends half-an-hour at a time stroking my hair as we lie in bed and talk. Believe me, after that, I'm ready to reciprocate in any fashion he would like. It's lovely. Neither of us has much money, but we don't care.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

http://www.seekingmillionaire.com/index.php

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

As I recall, women flocked to see "Pretty Woman"...a movie that basically says that the only difference between a lady and a hooker is a wealthy man. And the sad part is it might actually be true. Why else would women consider it to be a romantic film? These commercials are just saying what's true; so true in fact that most watching them will have no idea how offensive the ideas are.

dboy

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

If my own observations are worth anything (and granted they might not be), it's pretty clear that most of what the evo psychs squawk about can be explained by the simpler mechanism of assortative mating--i.e. that it's "natural" for like to seek out like. In short, shallow, materialistic women gravitate toward men who are willing and able to indulge that tendency. Of course, misogynists love to obsess over the relatively rare case of a couple that's wildly mismatched on this dimension--she expects shiny, expensive things, he wants to quit his job and teach inner-city kids (or some such variation of the "girl craves status while the guy just wants to escape the yoke" trope). Far more likely that she just expects him to pitch in to the extent of his capacity, and any discord is caused by his chafing at such expectations. So what might be a totally conventional, if still debatable, need by the woman for the man to carry his weight (and deliberately underachieving in order to spite the world doesn't qualify) gets blown up into gross "materialism" in his retelling.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Rather than ranting about rich, ugly men with beautiful women, why not check out the NY times Wedding pages:

http://www.nytimes.com/pages/fashion/weddings/index.html

Although you will find a few marriages you can deride, most are of very successful, attractive women, marrying very successful men. Most are equivalent in age, as well as appearance.


Examples:

The bride and bridegroom met at Boston College, from which they graduated.

Mrs. Norberg, 27, is an associate specializing in investments within the private banking division of JPMorgan Chase in New York. She is the daughter of ....

Mr. Norberg, also 27, is an account executive in New York for EMC Corporation, a computer storage equipment, software and services company. He is a son ...


Another:

Mrs. Peponis, 37, is known as Meme. She is a partner in Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton, a New York law firm. She graduated cum laude from Yale and received her law degree from the University of Pennsylvania.

Mr. Peponis, 42, is a managing director in the investment banking division at Goldman Sachs in New York. He graduated from Princeton and has an M.B.A. from Harvard.


The list goes one and on. The idea that you can buy it is more of a male fantasy, spread by the likes of Playboy, where beautiful women vie for the affections of a seemingly successful man.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

I'm interested in the content of this article and find its object worthy of the criticism that it metes out.
However, I find that the language of "your woman" and many implicit assumptions around the idea of 'wife' extremely objectionable. What I mean by that is that the article criticizes the notion of women's affections, loyalty or bodies, being purchased by consumer goods. But at the same time, the idea that there is some other recipe for what is here stated, described, and assumed unequivocally as another form of ownership reproduces that problem. One could say that the ring attempts to stabilize those things (human relationships, social bonds, love) that are profoundly and structurally unstable under capitalism -- a more comprehensive name for the exchange of people and an accompanying sense of our disposability and our reduction to economy and utility. (Georges Bataille would have said that marriage is precisely an arrangement of utility.)

I feel that if there is a real attempt at social change coming from articles on the left, these kinds of language oversights need to be addressed. In particular, gender is very high stakes because its assumptions, its nuclear families, its hierarchies, and its property rights over the woman's body (distortively justified as a pre-capitalist arrangement) are being marketed in tandem with the ideology that not only overtly exports imperialism and global violence and torture, but also smuggles them back in via ideas that are attempting to issue critique.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

While some of the early comments are certainly sexist, "Women love money and power, so good handsome men like me don't get enough sex, while ugly nasty men do." they seem to me to be indicative of an underlying issue; culture.

I've lived in several countries, and I find that some societies basically teach girls that being a good woman is related to beauty and keeping men happy. Intelligence and awareness of social and political issues is frowned on, while flirting and being the 'ditzy blonde' type is rewarded. I've found that the US often falls into this category. My daughter, an American university student who grew up overseas, finds American girls to be a little shallow, talking mostly about boys and spending so much time trying to look beautiful.

I believe that the left and feminists truly need to address the issues raised in this article. The left often addresses issues such as pornography and sexual 'promiscuity' as freedom issues, when more often they are issues of society painting women into the mold of playthings for rich white males. Women need to be free to relate and function in society in ways that are completely unrelated to sex and 'attractiveness'.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

It's all about where you choose to be. I've never been with a girl that was like that, but then I don't live in the suburbs, don't have a normal 9-5, don't go to singles bars, etc. Every girl I've been with has been great. They never expected anything expensive. I don't believe in any kind of expected gift giving anyway, i.e. christmas, anniversaries, valentines, etc. Doesn't the expectation totally defeat the purpose of a gift? My partners usually agree and I don't have any problems finding partners.

If you submerse yourself in a consumption driven environment, you're going to find consumption driven people. I don't believe that it's something women are hard-wired for. It's hard to see that when you live in such a materialistic country though.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

When my husband paid for my conflict-free diamond, I thanked him and chuckled that the real reason I wanted the carbon rock was that it may save our lives in the future. Do you think that some privatized, paramilitary jack-booted thug will accept my diamond ring that I have been smuggling in my ass after being unloaded from a cattle car that has brought me to Camp Gulag USA in some northern plains state? Through out time women have used their jewelry to barter for the lives of their loved ones in times of police state crisis.
Since we are on the brink of another collapse, I thought it might be a good investment.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

Ok, I haven't read all the comments, or even the whole story, but commercials also portray parents buying their children's love with ipod and telephones. It's just the way advertising works, makes us feel vulnerable, flawed, unlovable, then gives us a product that will "solve" that.
I don't believe women like money any more or less than men. Perhaps this belief comes from the fact that for many earlier generations women HAD to rely on their husbands to support them. And even today, women make less per hour than men in the same positions, with the same education and job experience. Also, women are the primary care givers of children and elderly dependants, and we still do more of the housework....all hard work, all necesary jobs, but NONE pay a dime on income. Therefore, women DO want/expect some finacial support when they spend much of their time working for free.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

This article is not up to the standards I expect from Alternet. Rather than making a well supported argument, the article was inflammatory, crude, and sensationalistic. The article as a whole did not express a point that was novel or worth making.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

... or at least this is what their comments make me think. Hey guys: how about reading a book, taking a shower, or, you know, learning some manners?
By the way, I am one of those wives who would kick her husband's butt back to the store if he showed up with one of those costly, blood-drenched baubles. When we buy costly presents, they are presents for both-a trip or something like that.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

This is how it is from someone who knows....I was raised modestly, have modest wealth now, but was married into an extremely wealthy family.
The baubles you see advertised on TV are trinkets for the masses. An outward sign of false wealth, something like a stainless/gold Rolex for hubby. Just sets you apart from your less well off friends. And for married couples, this at least indicates to a girl's friends that HER hubby made something (at least financially) of himself. It's HER status....love has nothing to do with it.

NOW...for the 98% of you who have never floated in circles of wealth.....this is the real story.

Diamonds ARE a storehouse of wealth. A 10 carat gem quality diamond that cost $400,000 - $800,000 will always have value. Not so with a $1000 tennis bracelet bauble. Shopping mall junk for the hoi poloi .

And in those families with wealth, the STATUS of the the MAN and his woman is dramatically enhanced. And enhanced among peers.......they could care less what a store clerk thinks. They are NOT bought for love or affection. They usually have a stable relationship. And, since the wife ( girlfriends never get this kind of stuff......a Rolex will suffice for them ). - usually didn't acquire most of the wealth - SHE gains status amongst her peers by showing what a successful guy the father of her children is. And the man gains status by showing that he actually believes in marital stability by buying his wife something the masses only ever see in an advertisement.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]