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New Khalid Shaikh Mohammed stunner: "My great-grandpa sank the Maine!" [VIDEO]

Posted by Joshua Holland at 6:37 AM on March 16, 2007.


Joshua Holland: The al Qaeda mastermind is finally talking ...
ksm/jfk

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(New York) Intelligence officials say that accused al Qaeda mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed has claimed indirect responsibility for yet another high-profile attack against American forces stationed abroad.

On Friday, after four years of solitary confinement in secret CIA-run prisons and a brisk morning of water-boarding, Mohammed admitted that his great-grandfather, Hussein abu Taba, orchestrated the 1898 bombing of the battleship U.S.S. Maine in Havana Harbor. That explosion, which killed 266 seamen, sparked the Spanish-American War.

Mohammed made waves earlier this week when he admitted to planning and/or personally executing dozens of terror attacks, including the 9/11 attacks, the "Shoe Bomber" plot, the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center and the killing of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl.

Officials say that the Qaeda operative's testimony vindicates the Bush administration's tactics in the "War on Terror." "When Khalid told us he had been the second gunman on the 'grassy knoll' in Dallas in 1963 - at age five! -- I knew we had a high-value prisoner, " said one of Mohammed's interrogators, speaking on background due to the sensitivity of the case. "But the battleship Maine ...well, that gets us into a whole other war against a completely different set of dusky religious fanatics."

Long a matter of controversy, the U.S.S. Maine sank on February 15, 1898, following a fiery explosion. The U.S. government claimed the ship was destroyed by a Spanish mine or via sabotage; others have argued that an accidental explosion in the ship's armory was the cause of the tragedy.

Mohammed claims that his great grandfather described to him in detail how he had smuggled an early IED -- a device that had been built in Persia -- onto the battleship and detonated it with a timer. The accused terror mastermind claims he had forgotten about the exchange until several years of gentle questioning by U.S. interrogators brought the exchange back to him.

Officials say such revelations aren't unusual. "We've found that the mind often represses difficult memories," said Major David L. Barry, an Army intelligence officer attached to the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base. "And very few things cause those hidden memories to emerge quite like a few years of sensory deprivation followed by hooking up a prisoner's testicles to a 24-pound truck battery. It's remarkable what they recall!"

Evan Adds:

Thanks Joshua, you stole my post (and did it better than I'd planned to...)

Coupla things, mostly random:

First, the Bush Admin appears to have made "a marketing blunder" in the way it released the information. Think that doesn't matter? Think again. Time magazine isn't even buying (Yes, TIME magazine...):

there is a major flaw in that marketing strategy [of touting the administration's successful capture of a menace to Americans]. On the face of it, KSM, as he is known inside the government, comes across as boasting, at times mentally unstable. It's also clear he is making things up. I'm told by people involved in the investigation that KSM was present during Wall Street Journal correspondent Danny Pearl's execution but was in fact not the person who killed him. There exists videotape footage of the execution that minimizes KSM's role. And if KSM did indeed exaggerate his role in the Pearl murder, it raises the question of just what else he has exaggerated, or outright fabricated.

Second, a clip from Reservoir Dogs, which predates 9/11 [I think the names aren't accurate but the quotes are]:

Marvin Nash: I already told you I don't know anything about any fucking setup - you can torture me all you want.

Mr. Blonde: Torture you? That's a good idea. I like that.

Nice Guy Eddie: If you fucking beat this prick long enough, he'll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago fire, now that don't necessarily make it fucking so!

And finally, from Juan Cole:

A lot of commentators will note that Khalid Sheikh Muhammad has admitted that he planned out the 9/11 attacks. What they will miss is that he claimed the 1993 World Trade Center bombing as his idea, as well, and as an al-Qaeda operation. Remember that Paul Wolfowitz, following the frankly kookie Laurie Mylroie, blamed Saddam Hussein for the 1993 bombing. Wolfowitz was then the number 2 man in the Pentagon and enormously influential. His conviction that Bin Laden was "one little man" and that 9/11 had to have had a state sponsor (i.e. Iraq) helped drive us into the current quagmire. Wolfowitz was wrong, dead wrong. Has he ever admitted it? Should someone so wrong on so much really be heading the World Bank?

Digg!

Tagged as: khalid shaikh mohammed

Joshua Holland is a staff writer at Alternet and a regular contributor to The Gadflyer.


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a good laugh
Posted by: dover23 on Mar 16, 2007 7:11 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
this is worthy of The Onion - thanks for the chuckle

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Torture Works!
Posted by: LeftCoastProgressive on Mar 16, 2007 7:22 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Incredible piece of satire! It's clear to me that torture works. I mean, I would admit to the bombing of Pearl Harbor if someone tied the output of an old model A spark generator to my nuts. And water boarding...the advanced form of water boarding is called outhouse boarding. You know, remove the seat and dunk a guy head first into the runny....

Isn't this administration attracting all the best thugs? Former school-yard bullies who finally get to live their wettest dream.

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Historians agree that the US sunk it's own battleship
Posted by: minmotstand on Mar 16, 2007 7:35 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
An excerpt from my paper about the US baiting Iran to launch a first strike, in a part where I outline historical precedents for false flags:

Ex-Bush Official: US Baiting Iran to Launch First Strike
By Deniz Yeter
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/B022007Z.shtml

On February 15, the US sinks its own battleship, the USS Maine, near Havana after storing the ship's weapons and explosives right next to its coalbunker.

Newspapers accuse Spain of being behind the attack citing a fake telegram from Spain that they created to bolster public support for war, allowing President William McKinley to get Congress to declare war on April 19.

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Joshua, thanks...
Posted by: Chickensh*tEagle on Mar 16, 2007 8:32 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
-- (New York) Intelligence officials say that accused al Qaeda mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed has claimed indirect responsibility for yet another high-profile attack against American forces stationed abroad. --

...for attributing this claim properly. Everywhere else I've seen it, the media reported as fact that KSM had confessed, with no basis except the redacted transcript the Pentagon handed them.

Ages and ages ago when I took high school journalism, the very first thing our teacher explained was what it means to report a fact. For instance, if the president says the sky is blue, you report that the president said the sky is blue. You don't report that the sky is blue on the president's say-so.

No reporters were present to witness thiese alleged confessions, yet they all report that KSW confessed. This in spite of their aready having been royally burned by the most mendacious and secretive administration in living memory. What's wrong with these people?

Another example: "The scandal over the mishandling of the firing of the U.S. attorneys...." propagating the administration's spin that the firings were just "mishandled" and that nothing was wrong other than that. I heard that one on NPR this morning.

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khalid branca
Posted by: Drubinson on Mar 16, 2007 8:42 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
URGENT: BREAKING NEWS !!!
In a shocking development early this morning, the confessed mastermind of 9-11, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, defiantly confessed that, as long suspected, he was the actual impregnator of Mary, and that Jesus was in fact his son.
While the physical resemblance has been noted by many, and since there were no actual eye witnesses, this was the first actual corroboration.
Insiders who refused to be named have also divulged that it was in fact Mohammed who threw the pitch to Bobby Thomson in 1951.
More details as they are released.

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» RE: khalid branca Posted by: blitzmesser
torture does the trick!
Posted by: kww355 on Mar 16, 2007 9:04 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This guy is a veritable font of information...

If torture works this well, why don't they put him on the rack and find out where he buried Jimmy Hoffa ?!

PS-thanks for a great piece of satire !

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olliesmom
Posted by: olliesmom on Mar 16, 2007 9:48 AM   
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I love it.

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The Level of Intelligence
Posted by: the islander on Mar 16, 2007 11:12 AM   
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It's just so sick. It's all so sick. How desperate are these people to publish such rot.

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Can we talk about the picture?
Posted by: suki on Mar 16, 2007 11:16 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
What is that? Can't they even clean him up a little for the photo-op after 4 years in Gitmo? The man looks like he's either VERY hungover, or they've beaten the crap out of him, then took his picture. Didn't anyone have a comb? Honestly. What is their point? This guy looks like he'd confess to buying the Brooklyn Bridge.

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» RE: Can we talk about the picture? Posted by: blitzmesser
Brazil by consensus
Posted by: eddie torres on Mar 16, 2007 12:44 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Torture works. Otherwise, how would Average Joes get the opportunity to hold their own virtual tribunals all over the Intertubes?

The White House marketing strategy is a big success:

Torture! It's here! Get it now or get Left Behind! All your neighbors have it! What's wrong with you?

- Department of Information Retrieval

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» RE: Brazil by consensus Posted by: blitzmesser
» RE: Brazil by consensus Posted by: eddie torres
KSM, the new neocon panacea
Posted by: channing on Mar 16, 2007 2:54 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It's kind of a relief that they cannot substantiate their "innocence" in any way other than relentless torture of a patsy who took 4 years to break. This ridiculous event will actually convince MORE people around the world of US deceit and the inhumanity that is being used to run over non-conformists.

Like OBL's 911 confession, the more they publicly defend themselves with fantastic, outrageous and obviously-contrived enemies, the more they reveal themselves as plain-old ignorant desperadoes. They are so disconnected from the real world and its people that they cannot imagine being so unbelievable! Why would people want any facts, evidence or background to go with that? If you don't believe them, you're either not truly faithful at church, or a leftwingnut, after all.

One interesting point to the line-up of "confessed events" by KSM, is that they all have the long-running neocons in the historical background coverup... every case remains in dispute as to inside accomplices involving the military/industrial complex.

TRANSPARENCY, TRANSPARENCY, TRANSPARENCY... I've had enough of this trust-the-government bull-squat!

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I know who KSM's other parent was !!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: tap17x on Mar 16, 2007 4:42 PM   
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Here is a little-known fact: His mommy was HITLER!!!!! His daddy was Stalin !!!! WW2 was a domestic quarrel !!!!

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Really good satire.
Posted by: blitzmesser on Mar 16, 2007 5:36 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Thanks for this funny satire. I read it as truth.

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Just another 1000 volts...
Posted by: Julian on Mar 16, 2007 5:49 PM   
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...and they'll solve the Jack the Ripper mystery.

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Don't forget the Alamo!!!
Posted by: lessbread on Mar 17, 2007 6:11 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Surely he must have led the charge that killed Davy Crocket!!!

Joking aside, if zonked out Jose Padilla is any guide, it's a wonder Mohammed is able to even form a coherent sentence given all of the water boarding they must have subjected him to.

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» RE: Don't forget the Alamo!!! Posted by: lessbread
Confessions????
Posted by: TruthBeTold on Mar 17, 2007 2:34 PM   
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He probably also killed JFK and RFK and John Denver.

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The Strange Fruits of Torture
Posted by: fanny666 on Mar 19, 2007 10:39 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Paul Craig Roberts, ass't Sec of Treasury in Reagan Administration, former WSJ editorial board member on why the confessions are useless.

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