Dawkins on Santa Claus

Posted by Evan Derkacz at 8:54 AM on December 19, 2006.

From a McSweeney's imagined dialogue by Mike Jones, Professor Richard "The God Delusion" Dawkins addresses the Fair Hills Kindergarten on the reality of Santa:

If you are the sort of person who is interested in the truth, perhaps you would consider asking yourself this question: how exactly does a single elderly man not only manufacture but also deliver in a single evening what would, by all forms of logic, account to be millions of toys?

Certainly, if you press this issue to its core, more difficult questions will arise, but as I have been told we are short on time, we'll stick with the meat and bones, so to speak, of this one. Your parents and teachers will most likely say something to the effect of "Why, he has elves that help build toys year-round in his North Pole workshop." And in response to how a man delivers all these goods in a single evening? Unsurprisingly, the response to this has not changed since I was a lad: he does it with the aid of Christmas Magic.

Indeed--Christmas Magic, that wonderful, majestical force. A single drop of it allows a man to fly around the world in a sleigh led by nine tiny reindeer. Fascinating, isn't it?

Now, before I continue on, let me first make it clear that I am not claiming that the existence of Santa or wonderful industrious elves or Christmas Magic is impossible. I cannot prove that they do not exist any more than I can disprove the existence of fairies or leprechauns.

What I can tell you is that statistic probability and science can provide us with a clear look at the truth, and if we are willing to be honest with ourselves as a result of this data, then we will quite quickly see that there simply is no scientific foundation for any of the aforementioned phenomena.

Tagged as: satire, dawkins, santa claus

Evan Derkacz is an AlterNet editor. He writes and edits PEEK, the blog of blogs.