What Would Happen If We Simply Ignored Bill O'Reilly?

Posted by Byard Duncan, AlterNet at 12:32 PM on June 3, 2009.

Liberals (and even a few conservatives) will soon finish de-wadding their collective panties in the wake of this latest Bill O'Reilly debacle. The lull will hopefully create a window for us to ask an important question - one I pose to myself whenever confronted with the trembling jowls of that hate-osaurus rex: What would happen if we just stopped listening?
I know what you're thinking: "Stop listening!? It's not that simple! We can't let this madman's rants go unchecked! Without anyone to debate him (and prove him wrong) he will be left to infect the entire country with his message of racism and hate!"
To this, I respond: au contraire, my prickly pear. Robbing O'Reilly of dialogue means robbing him of legitimacy. It's the perfect maneuver, like reaching onto his plate and nabbing a juicy steak he had been waiting to eat.
Think about it this way: every time some liberal politician or pundit appears on his show, the implicit assumption is that ol' uncle Bill is a valid voice in the conversation - someone whose egregious viewpoints deserve serious attention. Though this is true to an extent - he's extremely popular among conservative audiences and his ratings continuously top those of the competitors - you've got to wonder what would happen if he had no one there to argue with.
My bet is that Billy-boy would shrivel and disappear like the wicked witch of the red states that he is. Though he'd never admit it, he needs liberals much more than they need him. His whole projection of power and intellect is, after all, measured by his ability to barf insults at those who disagree with him. Without a conflicting viewpoint, O'Reilly would disappear from the limelight and creep further toward that love/hateable David Duke lunatic fringe.

This is not an easy prescription to accept, mostly because it feels good to hit people back when they hit you. But the mistake liberals keep making about O'Reilly is that he can be proven wrong. He can't, so stop trying. Not only is the man a master of manipulating and overpowering arguments, he actually believes what he is saying. He operates under a set of beliefs and values that we foolishly designate "curable," when they are in fact wholly inflexible.
Ignoring O'Reilly won't be easy. He's loud, ugly and seemingly an omnipresent force in both liberal and conservative media. He's also not a fool: he understands the complex web of dependencies that allow him to continue staying relevant. He probably even understands the contradiction present in my argument here (shouldn't I be ignoring him instead of writing this diatribe? Oops.). But paying the man no heed is necessary. It might just afford us front row tickets to his eventual hoarse-throated, vein-bulging implosion.
If my plan backfires, and a million angry conservatives - fired up by O'Reilly's unchecked tirades - swarm the White House with pitchforks and cardboard cutouts of Charlton Heston, I owe everyone a coke. But my bet is that won't happen. What makes O'Reilly fun to watch is his incendiary, childish bickering with others. Without that, he's got nothing.
So at the risk of not taking my own advice, let this be my first and last comment on the subject of Big Bill: Do something else, liberals. Read a book. Fly a kite. Smoke some of that sweet, sweet medicinal marijuana you fought so hard for. Before you know it, the bad man will be gone.

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