Time Warner COO: You WANT to Pay More for Internet Service

Time Warner Cable recently expanded its infuriating new "tiered" pricing system to markets in Texas, North Carolina and New York. Under the program, customers sign up for differently priced plans; users who use more bandwidth than their chosen plan allows are charged extra.

Company flacks have been hard at work trying to convince everyone that the scheme is intended to benefit customers who don't use as much bandwidth as high-traffic users.

But, anyone who’s ever used the Internet can probably surmise that Time Warner’s motives are not entirely altruistic -- the company has been excoriated online and by customers.

How has Time Warner responded to criticism? COO Landel Hobbs issued a statement using homey metaphors, entirely unsubstantiated claims and absolutely no actual information to convince you, the Time Warner customer, that you want the company to institute usage caps:

With regard to consumption-based billing, we have determined that as broadband usage and penetration grow, there are increasing differences in the amount of bandwidth our customers consume. Our current pricing plans require all users to pay the same amount, whether they check email once a month or download six movies a day. As the amount of usage has dramatically diverged among users, this is becoming inherently unfair and not the way most consumers want to pay for goods they consume.

When you go to lunch with a friend, do you split the bill in half if he gets the steak and you have a salad?

I guess not ... But I also don’t want the restaurant to resolve this problem of impropriety by tripling the cost of the steak and giving me less of it, so ...

Karl Bode at DSLreports has a more detailed explanation of just how hilariously full of shit Time Warner is.