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50 Things Restaurant Servers Should Never Do

Posted by Tara Lohan, AlterNet at 3:00 PM on October 30, 2009.


This a little above the hand-washing kinda thing.

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The New York Times has a blog post up now (part 1 of "100 Things") that outlines the best etiquette for restaurant employees. And no, this is not a 'remember to wash your hands' or 'don't spit in the food' kind of list -- it's a bit above that. Having worked only briefly in food service at one of my first jobs, I have to say that being a great server is really hard and I definitely notice and appreciate immensely when it is done well.

I agree with just about everything on the list except for number 6: "Do not lead the witness with, 'Bottled water or just tap?' Both are fine. Remain neutral." Actually, unless you are some place where the tap water is not drinkable, then I'd say, ditch the bottled water, like so many high-end (and other) restaurants are starting to do. It's better for the environment and often is actually better quality water, too.

Here's one of my favorites from the list: "If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc." I've never seen that done before, but I'd be super impressed!

Here's a couple more good ones:

Do not call a guy a "dude."

Do not call a woman "lady."

Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It's irrelevant.

Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, "Are you waiting for someone?" Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.

If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.

You can read the rest here.

 

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Tagged as: food, restaurants

Tara Lohan is a senior editor at AlterNet.


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Um, w.t.f.?
Posted by: britchestoobig on Oct 30, 2009 3:39 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
So really, wtf is this elitist drivel doing on alternet?!

Like I need to read some smarmy "small business" crap about how to help owners better control their servile [sic intended] staff.

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» RE: Um, w.t.f.? Posted by: nfojunky
» RE: Um, w.t.f.? Posted by: El Hombre Malo
» RE: Um, w.t.f.? Posted by: mrfinger
Um, wtf, wtf??
Posted by: g on Oct 30, 2009 6:26 PM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Restaurant servers are professionals. Restaurant customers are people paying for food and service, not slaveholders. There is nothing wrong with discussing a code of conduct for restaurant servers, the same way there's nothing wrong discussing a professional code of conducts for teachers, bus drivers or cops. We may disagree over the various rules, but there is such thing as professional and unprofessional behavior for a server, and there's nothing wrong for restaurant owners or customers to request professionalism. If wtf thinks that people who go to restaurant are elitists and the moral equivalent of the slave owners of old, he or she should get his or head checked.

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Good start
Posted by: FreeAmerica on Oct 31, 2009 2:12 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
As someone who has been to a few restaurants, I can say that this is a good start. The only one I questioned was #24, a new glass with each drink.

At the table yes, at the bar, no. That ice is seasoned ice and trained in the flavor. Most people want the second drink in the same glass.

The difference is, at the bar the server takes your drink and rebuilds it in front of you. At the table, who knows if it is your glass after it disappeared for 5 minutes? Gross.

There are a lot more to put on that list.. No nasty perfume, never sit down at a table or the bar while on shift, hair tied back, on and on.

A successful server will make great money, but will also be quite meticulous and professional about it. This ain't no Flo's Diner, Shoog.

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» RE: Good start Posted by: YogiBear
Code of Ethics for Patrons wuld be nice
Posted by: Purple Girl on Oct 31, 2009 5:23 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Always tip according to the customary & typical standard- 15% if the service was good. Lower means substandard to servers and 20%+ is a compliment.
Reasons-
Many states do not require 'tipped employees' to be paid at min. wage.
They must pay taxes on a portion of the sales, regradless of amount actually tipped- could be 8% on a $100.00= $8.00 -bascially they paid to serve you if you stiff them.
Also tipping out is required at some establishments from the server to other staff- bartenders, bussers, cooks....calculated by their sales, not what they made in tips. So they again maybe paying to have served you.
Couple other notes would be that servers are not there to be a captured audience. Just because she's nice to you and keeps coming back is not because she's interested in you. Nor your dining partner, ladies!
Never Whistle for your servers attention- they are not Dogs.In fact a whistle is little more than a grunt- it says more about the whistlers inability to express themselves at a more advanced level than the one's attention they are trying to get.."Excuse Me" too difficult to formulate? Maybe you are also so stupid you aren't capable of getting the same response from your dog to the Word "come" as you do with a whistle. Whos' lowering the bar of means to communication.
And if they refuse to serve you or cut you off, it's because they can be legally charged in civil and criminal cases.
And for Gods sake when a server asks you if you need anything- look and round and think for 1/2 a second- You are not in your own dining room and this person has nothing else to do...There are other customers who are paying for a meal and service as well.
Best Tippers- Asian Business men and Bikers. Worst Tippers- The English and Churchgoers.But the Englsih have an excuse, their servers are paid well,so the rent isn't dependent on the graciousness of patrons.

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» I start at 20% Posted by: BlueTigress
And this is just when we can SEE them!
Posted by: Longdream on Oct 31, 2009 7:33 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Just kidding.

I have a long history of eating, and I've eaten meals in restaurants of every description. Over lo these many years, I can count on one hand without using all the fingers how many times I've experienced really terrible service. I was born and lived most of my life in NYC, so I hasten to say that slightly snotty servers who haven't yet learned their jobs don't count. To me, they're hilarious.

Of course, I'm not haughty and ready to pick apart a person's every move as I know some folks are. and while I do care about ambience and the server's part in it, I'm usually there with friends or family and the restaurant isn't a member of the party.

Being myself and acknowledging the server's status as a fellow human being who is entitled to all the conventions of politeness that I show anyone always works to get me great service, no matter where I am. Eye contact, a smile, please and thanks, and a bit of attentiveness to what the server is coping with on that particular night all go a long way. There are limits to this, but I'm also not overly sensitive to having to wait between courses, depending on the kind of place I'm in, especially when the wait is acknowledged, which it usually is, and I'm given drinks, toys and consolation, which I usually am.

Always to remember and never to forget: Friendliness begets friendliness. Shitheadedness begets same. If your friendliness begets shitheadedness, THAT'S bad service. But you should bear in mind that your personal shithead is probably contributing to a tip pool shared by everyone in the place. There isn't much excuse in my mind to not leave a minimum 15% tip for your server. They may be paid more than minumum wage in your state, but they don't make a king's ransom, and they do rely on tips to make a good living.

Don't like the service? Give the shithead a piece of your mind, but also give him his tip. It's classier.

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The one thing I cannot stand at a restaurant
Posted by: bettyn on Oct 31, 2009 10:05 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
is the waiter or waitress calling me "dear" or "sweetie". (Yes, I know I'm old enough to be your granny, but I'm not. Save that for your REAL grandparents, who are undoubtedly waiting for you to call or visit them sometime. They, like me, will not be around much longer!)

Calling a perfect stranger "dear" or "sweetie" is disrespectful!

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» Or HONEY! Posted by: harpy
» Oh, good grief! Posted by: henderson
rn
Posted by: mnstra on Oct 31, 2009 1:50 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Starbucks. The most offensive things the servers do when you ask about a product that you have not tried and are interested in is "well I like the Verona It is my favorite"
Who gives a shit what some 20 yer old kid behind the counter likes. What do his customers seem to like is more helpful..............

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» RE: Speaking of Starbucks... Posted by: Longdream
Missing from the lst
Posted by: YogiBear on Oct 31, 2009 4:49 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Waiters who ask you how the food is right after it's set down. It's a struggle to stay polite when the query is so idiotic.

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» RE: Missing from the lst Posted by: Longdream
» RE: Missing from the lst Posted by: kauaiq
Some are trained to be obnoxious
Posted by: countingdaisies on Oct 31, 2009 11:29 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Those little things you hate have sometimes been ingrained in the servers during training; like introducing themselves by their name and hoping you're having a great day. I haven't eaten out in several years due to the mystery ingredients and questionable sanitation of the food and don't feel as if I've missed out on anything worthwhile. I do remember going to Outback when it first opened in my area, early 90s maybe. That was the first time I was exposed to what some expert must have thought would be an innovative way for the customer to feel warm and welcome...having the server kneel to eye level for the introduction and order taking. I was so caught off guard, I burst out laughing. I mean, why not just take a seat at the table and not dirty your knee? I still laugh when I think about it to this day. Never went to Outback again, not just that one, any of them. The food was so salty I couldn't eat it and I am surprised so many love it.

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try to enjoy
Posted by: kauaiq on Nov 1, 2009 6:29 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
As a professional waiter for many years I can say many of these are atributes of a good waiter, however it seems that this writer is truely anal and needs to try to enjoy themselves rather than picking apart their service so they can dock their waiters tips.
Waiters should always introduce themselves by name then you know who to ask for, it's just being polite.As a waiter I always gave suggestions. My favorites where favorites because they had the most favorable reveiws. If you don't take your waiters suggestions then your on your own and not 100% of a menue is always good.
As a guest you should try to relax and have a good time, remember you are a guest. As a pro it's very easy to pick apart service. So relax mistakes happen judge your waiter on how well he handels them and fixes the problems. My pet peve is when you ask the waiter what they recomend and they tell you everthing is good. What B.S. something is always better than others and they should know based on what their customers have told them.

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Proper things!
Posted by: Addison S on Nov 1, 2009 8:15 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Well, proper etiquette would be necessary on restaurants. This is a very fine attitude for everybody to consider. This is common stuffs. However, you aren't going to make much with get paid to click sites – if you're looking for decent side income you may have to look into affiliate marketing.

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Bunch of Dicks...
Posted by: Axiom69 on Nov 2, 2009 5:51 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
A number of years ago while in San Antonio I visited a place on the River Walk called Dicks. I quickly discovered why it had that particular name. All of the staff acted like... well dicks. As a waitress passed by I politely asked her for something. She glared and shouted NO! and kept walking. Of course this was part of the "charm" of the place and she came back a few minutes later with what I had asked for. We joked for a few moments and she went about her buisness of berating other customers.
The whole experience really was a hoot. I mean 17 years later and it is the only restraunt I remember from that visit.

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Truelass
Posted by: Truelass on Nov 3, 2009 7:59 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I am never a stranger in any restaurant I visit being taught by a classy Scottish mother to act as you would at home when you visit a castle and at home act like you belonged in a castle. This came to light when I recently visited an up market restaurant with my grandmother who had obviously schooled my mother. Spotting a youth at a table with his parents and wearing a baseball cap, in a firm voice she scolded,"Young man, please remove your cap in the dining room.." and then for effect she added, "..and sit up straight". I kept my eyes glued to the menu but when the server ariived at our table she whispered to my grandmother, "Please come more oftem". Many patrons fail to understand that obvious bad table manners are an insult to the premises and to the people who are employed there and when I ask a server for advice with dishes on the menu it is because I really wish to know and I rely on the wine steward to help with the wine, for the wine I enjoyed on a previous visit may not now be suitable. When it is obvious to the staff that I recognize their importance to my meal I never get bad service or food, for the word goes along the chain to the kitchen. I leave a substantial gratuity.

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