Rachel Maddow: Newt Wants 'the Future,' Not the White House [VIDEO]

Posted by Rachel Maddow at 12:00 AM on October 6, 2007.

Published below, the transcript from Rachel Maddow's Campaign Asylum video segment posted to the right on the screen.

Things are going to go pretty fast from here on out. It'll be Halloween, then thanksgiving, then no one gets any work done between then and Christmas, and then boom the New Hampshire primary will probably be done before your new year's hang is done. Every other primary happens within five minutes of Iowa and New Hampshire and by the first blush of February, we’ll essentially know who the presidential nominees will be.

This primary calendar is so stupid now, it’s going to be over really fast. Which means crowning the early frontrunners.

On the democratic side, it just makes it that much harder for someone other than Hillary Clinton to get the nomination, on the Republican side, it means they probably won’t have enough time to come to their senses and realize that they probably ought to go with Huckabee instead of any of their so-called "frontrunners."

But most importantly, the speed at which the process will unfold from here on out means that the menu of candidates from which we will choose? Is probably set. There’s no time now for new additions to the menu.

Which is sad news, for those of us who were looking forward to the return of the Newt.

In the little time we had, with protocandidate Newt Gingrich, he spoke the Spanish, on the Youtube. He brought to the Iowa straw poll this year, a baby alligator, a hedgehog, an owl, a gecko and a bunny.

Baby alligator, hedgehog, owl, gecko, bunny. Newt!

He told Fortune magazine, quote, "I am not running for president. I am seeking to create a movement to win the future." In November, he gave a speech to a dinner that was honoring freedom of speech? And he came out against it. He said freedom of speech will have to be "re-examined" in America.

Newt created the awesome slogan for his new group American solutions -- their slogan is "real change ... requires ... real change!"

Newt made himself the candidate of Second Life. His admirably out-of-shape avatar -- which kind of looked like Large Marge a little bit -- his avatar gave speeches, to really really admirably busty John Edwards volunteers, and some guy with no pants on.

So it is with a heavy heart, that I admit, that this time around, there will be no Newt Gingrich for president. It’s been fun while it lasted. It's possible that other candidates can maybe rent the hedgehog from him now ... if he’s not using it, maybe?

Rachel Maddow is the host of her own show on Air America Radio. She has a doctorate in political science (she was a Rhodes Scholar) and a background in HIV/AIDS activism, prison reform, and other lefty rabblerousing.