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You Can't Ban No-Fault Divorce

Posted by Amanda Marcotte, Pandagon at 4:35 AM on April 16, 2008.


The Christian right pursues a pipe dream of revoking a right Americans have grown accustomed to.

Kathryn Joyce has a great piece up about the continuing agitating of anti-divorce nuts, who are trying to perform the social equivalent of putting toothpaste back into the tube. What's really great about this dude from Marriage Savers, though, is that he openly argues that marriage should be a legal trap.

Basing its implied equation of liberal divorce laws with unjust war, McManus justifies the term “Unilateral Divorce” because “in four out of five cases, one spouse did not want the divorce, but had no choice.” In a press release announcing the new Reform Divorce website, McManus argued that one spouse’s freedom to divorce the other without permission was the reason behind America’s high divorce rate.

Unfortunately for them, these are reforms that will only pass Republican muster if you only reverse a woman's right to sue for divorce. After all, the John McCains and Newt Gingriches of the world would have been fucked if their first wives (or second) were able to prevent them from trading them in for younger models. But I suspect that these Marriage Savers would be perfectly happy to accept a compromise that allowed men to sue for divorce and not women. Though I suppose even an equal divorce law that prevented men from divorcing as well as women would fuck women over more than men, because men that aren't politicians would do what they always did before, and just leave without bothering with the divorce. Women are the ones who more often need the protections of divorce.

In case there's any doubt that this is more about women's freedom than men's (though, to be fair, the anti-divorce nuts also get off on thinking about men being trapped in unhappy marriages as a sacrifice to the patriarchy), check out this article.

Divorce and out-of-wedlock childbearing cost U.S. taxpayers more than $112 billion a year, according to a study commissioned by four groups advocating more government action to bolster marriages.

Of course, the groups are the sort that should immediately raise suspicions---a bunch of wingnut organizations that are too busy thumping the Bible to crack it open and realize that it's about more things than the importance of all people being wedged into very narrow gender roles. They defined costs incurred by single "parents" (read: unmarried mothers) very, very broadly, making the findings pretty much guaranteed as illegitimate.

Scafidi's calculations were based on the assumption that households headed by a single female have relatively high poverty rates, leading to higher spending on welfare, health care, criminal justice and education for those raised in the disadvantaged homes.

The idea that poverty is caused by single motherhood more than the other way around has no real evidence for it, and the reverse does have some evidence. So we can dismiss the study right out of hand. But I can't help but point out how weird it is that they included education. Are they saying that a bunch of broke single moms would somehow be able to pull their kids from public school and put them in private school if they married, most likely to men that are in the same socioeconomic class? Skeezy, but I'm not surprised to see that kind of statistics-bending. These folks are so committed to proving that men are the sole source of everything---life, morality, civilization itself---and that women can't provide any of these things, that they're not going to be stopped by something minor like intellectual honesty.

Thankfully, the article has counterperspectives from people who know what they're talking about.

But Tim Smeeding, an economics professor at the Maxwell School of Syracuse University, who was not involved in the study, said he's seen no convincing evidence that the marriage-strengthening programs work.

"I have nothing against marriage -- relationship-building is great," he said. "But alone it's not going to do the job. A full-employment economy would probably be the best thing -- decent, stable jobs."

He also noted the distinctive problems arising in black urban areas where the rate of single-mother households is highest.

"A high number of African-American men have been in prison -- that limits their future earning potential and makes them bad marriage partners, regardless of what kind of person they are," Smeeding said. "A marriage program doesn't address that problem at all."

Another expert not connected to the study, University of Michigan sociologist Pamela Smock, suggested that bigger investments in education would pay long-term dividends -- improving economic prospects even for children from fragmented, disadvantaged families.

"Providing a global number doesn't give us anything to go on," said Smock, who was skeptical of the study's $112 billion estimate.

"We're now nearing 40 percent of kids in America born out of wedlock," she said. "I can't fathom that those marriage programs, even with increased investment, are going to reduce that."

Digg!

Amanda Marcotte co-writes the popular blog Pandagon. She is the author of It's a Jungle Out There: The Feminist Survival Guide to Politically Inhospitable Environments.


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in this scenario
Posted by: aislinnluv on Apr 16, 2008 6:20 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I would have been trapped in one or another of two very unhappy marriages - to a self-absorbed man whose idea of paying the bills was to alphabetize them and pay from one end or the other, until he tired of it or the money ran out, or to an uptight emotional retard who still can't connect in a meaningful way with his two children, and was incapable of engaging in conversation, preferring to isolate himself with the computer and play games or look at porn until the wee hours. I initiated divorce proceedings in both cases, to save my kids and sanity. Poverty was in the picture a time or two but I work and my kids attend public school, not on the free lunch program. We do OK, better for not living with a man who once threatened to shove the piano we were moving up my son's ass (for asking where we were going to put it). People who want to take away the right to free one's self from a degrading partnership are control freaks who live in some reality other than mine.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: in this scenario Posted by: lepidopteryx
» Reagan's legacy Posted by: Joshua Holland
» RE: eagan's legacy Posted by: lepidopteryx
» RE: Reagan's legacy Posted by: aislinnluv
» RE: eagan's legacy Posted by: Joshua Holland
Why aren't men paying for their kids?
Posted by: bouyant on Apr 16, 2008 10:13 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I DID take public assistance (after divorcing an addict) and at the time was able to get financial aid (you know, that other kind of government assistance, the kind righteous people can get unashamedly) to go through college. I am now a productive member of society. Sure glad you all invested in me or I might still be really poor. Of course we "reformed" welfare to prevent that now. If my ex "took personal responsibility" for his actions and paid to support his offspring you all could have saved some money. What if a "culture of responsibility" regarding fatherhood made it impossible for men to walk away from parenthood?

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» RE: Why are you so anxious to judge? Posted by: boydranchitos
I'm for anything for anything that makes marriage less attractive
Posted by: Landbaron on Apr 16, 2008 11:41 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Divorces are at 50%, second only to Sweden in the world. $70 billion are spent on weddings here annually, I couldn't find the divorce cost statistic but I'm sure it's keeping the family law people with a nice standard of living while the divorcing people are losing a lot. People should be very careful about being married and being someone else's property or whatever the arrangement's gonna be. Legalized or decriminalized prostitution I think would help tremendously....Grow up, have a family and live happily ever after? Of all the 50% marriages that last, what % of those are happy or just hopeless. The last time I heard divorces are going down, that's because less people are getting married. Like W.C. Fields said; "There's a sucker born every minute".

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Deb
Posted by: debmcd on Apr 16, 2008 3:18 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Can we just make it illegal for these mouth breathers to exist. I'm sick to death of the lot of them.

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The solution is simple:
Posted by: ikonoklast on Apr 16, 2008 5:20 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Abolish marriage!

More precisely, abolish the legal status of "married." All people should be treated equally under the law; married folk should have no special privileges, or special burdens, that don't pertain to single people. Let marriage continue to exist in the realm of the home, family, church, or whatever group you wish, but remove all of its legal significance.

By extension, all relationships should be entirely voluntary and parents should bear equal responsibility for the care and upbringing of their children. Committed couples will still continue to pool their resources, but no one is trapped or bears a disproportionate burden.

Also, this will remove the legal impediments that currently prevent homosexuals, polygamists, (others I'm sure I'm forgetting) the right to celebrate their unions. Intolerant folk may still feel free to exclude them, but at least they can't deny them legal rights.

Hell, we can even cut through some of the Gordian knot of the tax code by eliminating "married filing jointly" and "married filing separately."

Everybody wins--except those who feel the unconscionable desire to enforce their will and their facade of morality on others.

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» RE: The solution is simple: Posted by: Intellect
Law Suit Abuse
Posted by: jmmartin on Apr 17, 2008 5:01 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
As an attorney with a sizable portion of practice in family law, I can tell you that the only ones who will profit from throwing out "no fault" dissolution of marriage are -- you guessed it: lawyers. A no fault divorce is the most logical way to wind down a relationship that has outlived its usefulness sans nasty court battles in attempts to prove such nebulous notions as "mental cruelty" and "adultery." Proving fault is a waste of time, a waste of the litigants' money, and a waste of your tax dollars, tying up the courts in needless he-said she-said airing of dirty laundry. No way should we allow the Christer right to return us to the Dark Ages of fault divorce.

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» RE: Law Suit Abuse Posted by: boydranchitos
Contratual Domestic Partnerships
Posted by: Andie927 on Apr 17, 2008 7:28 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
No Marriage Licenses; Domestic Partnership Contracts, FOR ALL!

You spell out Everything up front! How to divide and share assets, what to do about kids, ect. in a Contract Before(or if) you choose to have your Partnership Sanctified by a Religion!

Government should NOT be in the marriage business!! The Government should not be telling me (or influencing) how I spend my money, or how I make my money!

If either party chooses to end the Partnership it's simply dissolved, according to the Contract entered into.

Marriage should be a function of the Chuch, or Religion of the persons choosing, government should be no part of it! Courts, enforce Contracts, and disolve Contracts, not marriages!

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Embarrssed
Posted by: zeek2 on Apr 17, 2008 7:30 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I am sooo embarrassed to admit that I am a white male in America or the world for that matter. It took some 60 years to come to this realization.Since the beginning , women have been the second class person, to the shame of most men.

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Marriage should be a private agreement.....
Posted by: tap17x on Apr 17, 2008 9:27 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
.......and should be a contract like any other, with no government interference. Some allowance would be made for children, like writing them into the contract. The religious right would scream, indicating that it's a good idea.

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mick3
Posted by: mick3 on Apr 17, 2008 11:57 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Before no-fault divorce came into being, I was stuck for seventeen years in a "marriage" with a paranoid schizophrenic psychotic nut who believed that women were born evil. I was It.

During those seventeen years, he managed to psychologically crap up our sons beyond any redemption, and their lives have been bizarre.

My parents hated each other and made home life a nightmare.

Cui bono?

These Christians, whose religion is based on the premise that all the evils of humankind are to be blamed on females, have gotten into government where they don't belong and imposed laws that make no sense. Living in lifelong misery cannot be what Christ was about.

Dying in endless pain and misery, ditto. If those deluded folks want to wait for their imaginary "god" to "call" them, fine. Go ahead and suffer, let your savings be spent on keeping your rotting, suffering carcass alive, or at least breathing, but by what right do they have to impose such atrocity on the rest of us?

Why not a reasonably peaceful, comfortable and dignified leaving instead? Why not have a little something to leave to your loved ones rather than see it spent so uselessly and so cruelly?

Religion has much to answer for, and the sooner it's over the better. Oh yes, these modern religions will go the way of all mythologies, and people will look back in wonder at the utter gullibility and mindlessness that allowed such forces to warp society. And ruin billions of women's lives, in particular, in the process.

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One is not the other
Posted by: cjennmom on Apr 18, 2008 4:58 PM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Taking a stand against no-fault divorce is not the same as saying no divorce at all. Obviously, it is the best of both common sense and justice to acknowledge that people espoused to an addict, abuser or out-and-out psycho should be able to leave the marriage with their health intact. What is an issue is that no-fault divorce belittles vows people have taken in either a religious or civil forum to the point of ridiculousness. Admittedly, the standards of proof used in the past need tweaking so that the suits can proceed with reasonable speed at a reasonable cost, but returning to fault divorce prevents the frivolous dissolution of family. That endeavor is worth pursuing.

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» RE: One is not the other Posted by: zipper696