Top 5 Totally Reasonable Explanations for McCain's Zapatero Statement

Posted by Katie Halper, KatieHalper.com at 10:21 AM on September 20, 2008.

Liberals are going totally loco over McCain's response to the idea of meeting with Spanish Prime Minister Luis Rodríguez Zapatero. When asked about it, McCain responded by saying "All I can tell you is that I have a clear record of working with leaders in the Hemisphere that are friends with us and standing up to those who are not. And that's judged on the basis of the importance of our relationship with Latin America and the entire region...we are now working in cooperation with the Mexican Government."

When the rude and uber-nationalist, jingoistic Spanish-speaking reporter explained "I'm talking about the president of Spain." McCain countered with, "I'm willing to meet with any leader who is dedicated to the same principles and philosophy that we are for human rights, democracy and freedom and I will stand up to those that do not."

Liberals all over are trying to figure out why McCain is dissing Spain and/or confusing Spain with Latin America. I have my own theories and here they are:
McCain doesn't want to meet with Zapatero because ...

1) the Spanish Prime Minister promotes the Homosexual agenda through his "curious" lisp and his legalization of gay marriage.





2) he doesn't want to encourage more Spanish people to sneak across our borders and steal our jobs, replacing hamburgers with paella, square dancing with flamenco and baseball with bullfighting.





3) he was unclear whether the reporter was talking about THE Zapatero or a zapatero, and McCain thinks it's a little below him to commit to a meeting with his cobbler.





4) he still hasn't forgiven Spain for the inquisition, which he remembers losing friends to, and which haunts him to this day.





5) as a skin cancer survivor, McCain resents Spain's pro sun propaganda.

Katie Halper is a co-founder of Laughing Liberally, a political comedy group, with whom she performs regularly. Katie is also an Artistic Director and Comedy Curator at The Tank, a non-profit performing arts space for emerging artists.