Honesty is the best policy

Artificial Virginity Hymen: Faking that Vacuum-Fresh Seal

Posted by Jill Filipovic, Feministe at 10:11 AM on January 14, 2009.

If he wants to re-live you losing your virginity, or if you have to fake losing it to please him, dump the motherfucker already.

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I'm not really sure what to say about this, other than if he wants to re-live you losing your virginity in all of its blood-oozing glory, or if you have to fake losing it to please him, dump the motherfucker already:

A reader tipped us off to the "Artificial Virginity Hymen", which the company, Gigimo, claims "will expand a little and make you feel tight." The hymen also includes a packet that is activated during sex, which will "ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount." As if that wasn't horrifying enough, the company claims, "Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable."

Unfortunately for us ladies, the "artificial virginity hymen" doesn't come with an "artificial virginity penis" that jackhammers for 22 seconds before shrivelling and passing out next to you in the backseat of his parents' car.

I’ll also add that, sad as it is, a fake hymen could be potentially helpful to women who face serious consequences for not appearing to be virgins on their wedding nights. And at least it’s less invasive than hymen surgery. (Typing that sentence makes me want to cry and/or break something).

Jill Filipovic is a New York-based freelance writer and a law student at NYU. More of her writing is available online at her blog, Feministe.

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Also by Jill Filipovic
Word to the Wise: Never Date a Guy Who Reads Details Magazine A few experts discuss the "trend" of women tricking men into impregnating them, without offering any hard information or statistics. October 28, 2009.	Should a Woman Change Her Name When She Marries? 70 Percent of Americans Think So Another 50 percent believe it should be required by law. October 26, 2009.	You Don't Have to Dress as a Bigot or a Slut for Halloween: Here's Some Better Ideas Here's some great DIY costume ideas for those of us who hate having to choose between Slutty Nurse, Slutty Cop and Slutty Cat every year. October 21, 2009.	Women Should Cut Out the "Fat Talk" The nasty comments women make about their bodies are uncomfortable and harmful. October 19, 2009.	NYers Want Sex Ed in Schools - And it Looks Like They Need It Only two-thirds of high schoolers report using condoms at all. October 8, 2009.

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A great gift for the woman who's already had everything. [Report this comment] Posted by: pelican beak on Jan 14, 2009 3:29 PM Current rating: 5 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent] Relationships built on so shallow and dishonest a platform as to benefit from this little unit, deserve to be sanctified in churches. [« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5] That was special, Ms. Jill Filipovic. [Report this comment] Posted by: GuitarBill on Jan 14, 2009 3:34 PM Current rating: 2 [1 = poor; 5 = excellent] Ms. Filipovic writes, "Unfortunately for us ladies, the 'artificial virginity hymen' doesn't come with an 'artificial virginity penis' that jackhammers for 22 seconds before shrivelling and passing out next to you in the backseat of his parents' car." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't know one woman--I repeat, not one--who would consider herself "fortunate" to encounter an "artificial virginity penis" that lasted no longer than "22 seconds before shrivelling and passing out next to you in the backseat of his parents' car." :P Which reminds me of an old joke: A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation. "Can you do anything to help me doc?" said the man. "No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span," replied the doctor. [« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5] » GuitarBill, is the word "sarcasm" not in your vocabulary? Posted by: JLPearson This Invention Could Save Muslim Women From Being Murdered if Not Virgins [Report this comment] Posted by: colleenwhalen on Jan 15, 2009 5:19 AM Current rating: Not yet rated [1 = poor; 5 = excellent] First - let me assure you that I am an ardent, passionate feminist. I am 54 years old, grew up during the Vietnam War era - and vividly remember as a grammar school child with my mother demanding passage of legislation which would create domestic violence shelters, rape crisis centers, safe legal abortion and legislation to make sexual harrassment illegal. All of that being said - I actually believe this "artificial hymen" insert could save millions of lives of women who live in cultures which murder ladies who are not virgins on their wedding night. How many women in the Middle East, Africa, Asia and other cultures where mandatory virginity is required to avoid being beaten to death in "Honor Killings". The tone of this article is fairly snotty and snippy.......now lets us GET REAL - I am 54 years old and NEVER have met an American woman who wanted to "trick" her lover into thinking she was a virgin - oh, now wait a minute.....maybe it would actually HELP American women who grow up in fanatic Born Again Christian bible thumper culture - these women are shamed and treated as outcasts if they lose their virginity (BTW - male born again Christian fellows who lose their virginity before their wedding night aren't shamed the same way as women - so what I propose is YES - I want a device that will CREATE a hymen for all men - so that way we can PROVE whether or not a man has had intercourse! LOL, hah, hah, hah! Keep Hope Alive [« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5] » Thank you ! Thank you ! Thank you ! Posted by: FichenDich » RE: This Invention Could Save Muslim Women From Being Murdered if Not Virgins Posted by: tap17x Honesty is the best policy [Report this comment] Posted by: luzmejor on Jan 19, 2009 7:01 PM Current rating: Not yet rated [1 = poor; 5 = excellent] Basing a marriage on such a ridiculous notion is worthy of disdain, if not open ridicule. Many females are born without hymens. In fact, there seems to be no actual use for this body part at all. I actually like the idea of making males prove their virginity, though, since they are responsible for infecting so many females with the virus that causes cervical cancer, not to mention many other particularly nasty infections. Unfortunately, a demand like that from marriageable females would likely increase the abuse of helpless animals or something even more gross! [« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» GuitarBill, is the word "sarcasm" not in your vocabulary? Posted by: JLPearson

» Thank you ! Thank you ! Thank you ! Posted by: FichenDich

» RE: This Invention Could Save Muslim Women From Being Murdered if Not Virgins Posted by: tap17x

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» GuitarBill, is the word "sarcasm" not in your vocabulary? Posted by: JLPearson

» Thank you ! Thank you ! Thank you ! Posted by: FichenDich

» RE: This Invention Could Save Muslim Women From Being Murdered if Not Virgins Posted by: tap17x