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Dear World: America Is Sorry for Its 8 Year Service Outage

Posted by Deanna Zandt, DeannaZandt.com at 12:31 PM on January 28, 2009.


The USA, your quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008 service outage.
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Editor's Note: This is hilarious chain email was brought to our attention by Deanna Zandt.

Dear World:

The United States of America, your quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008 service outage.

The technical fault that led to this eight-year service interruption has been located. Replacement components were ordered Tuesday, November 4th, 2008, and have begun arriving. Early tests of the new equipment indicate that it is functioning correctly and we expect it to be fully operational by the end of January.

We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage and we look forward to resuming full service -- and hopefully even improving it in the years to come. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Very Truly Yours,

the USA

UPDATE: Rachel asked me to record it in my operator/announcer voice: download the MP3 for your own use or remixing pleasure: dear-world.mp3

Digg!

Deanna Zandt is a contributing editor at AlterNet.


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I'LL SIGN IT
Posted by: VZEQICVA on Jan 28, 2009 12:37 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
ANNA

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Iranian Leader Wants The US To Apologize For Bush
Posted by: Defenestrator on Jan 28, 2009 12:51 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
To suggest that we have any obligation to teach others how to behave...
Posted by: ABetterFuture on Jan 28, 2009 8:56 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...is a display of arrogance. Most of the world doesn't want you to save it, anyway, cher.

Besides that, in a world of diminishing resources, if three thugs murder a grandmother in South Africa since the rule of law was suspended last decade...well, that's fewer mouths to feed.

Nevermind. Suggest the author head to Darfur and tell the government and their gangs how to behave.

My advice? Bring friends with lots of guns, ya' idealistic whelp.

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Hmmmm
Posted by: rickiey on Jan 28, 2009 9:35 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Odd, I figured I would only find this sort of "American Exceptionalism" on a right-wing network.

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I second and third the motion !!!
Posted by: rafey on Jan 29, 2009 9:56 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I'll sign it, too !!!

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