Stories by Will Durst

Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to to find about more about his new CD, “Elect to Laugh,” as well as his one-man show “BoomerAging: From LSD to OMG." subscribe to Will Durst's feed

Posted on: Sep 2, 2002, Source: AlterNet

What Donald Rumsfeld would say when he tries justifying war on Iraq: "Because of a guy named Saddam Hussein. That's what we got here people. Another Hitler. Only swarthier."

Posted on: Aug 26, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Instead of leaving the safe confines of his Crawford Ranch, Bush instead sends Colin Powell. The message is clear here: Dubya doesn't give two bits about the U.N. World Summit.

Posted on: Aug 18, 2002, Source: AlterNet

In which Vice President Dick Cheney picks out his dream warlord by asking who hates Saddam Hussein the most.

Posted on: Aug 4, 2002, Source: AlterNet

A recent arrest of an off-brand, father-and-son outfit reeks of fishyness. Are these busts for show or excuses for parading white collar workers?

Posted on: Jul 14, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Guess we must salute the courage of President Bush for chastising corporations for the very actions he and his administration have engaged in all their lives.

Posted on: Jul 7, 2002, Source: AlterNet

The U.S. Senate voted 99-0 to include the word 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance. Too bad they can't have that kind of consensus waking Jesse Helms with a gavel to the head.

Posted on: Jun 10, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Nova Scotia surf resorts. Home grown bananas. You won't have to retire to Arizona, Arizona will come to you.

Posted on: May 20, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Whitewater? That was vital information. But asking what Bush knew before September 11? That's partisanship!

Posted on: Apr 30, 2002, Source: AlterNet

The President called Colin Powell's Mideast mission a success. A success? Why? Because he came back? What is this? "Survivor: The West Bank?

Posted on: Apr 22, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Durst dishes the dirt on what really went on between American cardinals and the Pope today at the Vatican.

Posted on: Apr 9, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Hey Colin, why don't you get over there and kick Arafat and Sharon in the ass and get Zinni out of there before he starts World War Goddam III.

Posted on: Apr 1, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Forget about robins and cherry blossoms and marshmellow bunnies. It's the first crack of the bat that's the true harbinger of spring.

Posted on: Mar 19, 2002, Source: AlterNet

What icons should we add to Tom Ridge's Color Wheel of Doom? Church icon: Praying at this point could not hurt. Beer icon: Time to drink heavily. Lips icon: Kiss your butt goodbye.

Posted on: Feb 28, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Some of the congressmen involved in the Enron inquiry are being very circumspect in their questioning, fearing that if they push too hard, Ken Lay will cut off their allowance.

Posted on: Feb 19, 2002, Source: AlterNet

I am glued to the tube watching the XIX Winter Olympics where we, and yes, I do mean the US of A, are kicking major Russkie and Scandinavian ass.

Posted on: Feb 4, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Stand back everybody, I think I'm going to blow. After the Super Bowl Super Patriotic bonanza, I've got myself a bad bad case of Star Spangled Ebola.

Posted on: Jan 30, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Durst's round up the weirdest, most amazing news that probably never happened.

Posted on: Jan 21, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Poor Kenneth Lay. Just this time last year he was riding higher than bacteria on a gnat inside the ear of a giraffe with a hyperactive pituitary.

Posted on: Jan 14, 2002, Source: AlterNet

Try as I might to swallow this force fed goofy anecdote, I end up suspecting something else much more untoward actually going down.

Posted on: Dec 17, 2001, Source: AlterNet

It's that weird time of the year where we estimate how much our friends and family care for us, translate that into a dollar amount and meet the challenge dead on by purchasing presents.

Posted on: Dec 10, 2001, Source: AlterNet

The stuff we need to know, they won't tell us. And the stuff we don't need to know, they won't stop telling us.

Posted on: Dec 3, 2001, Source: AlterNet

The challenge is terrorism. The answer is a 20% Patriots Sale(tm) on everything in the store! Not including video games or consoles.

Posted on: Nov 19, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Let me take this time to list a few of the many microscopic details that make ordinary day to day living worth it all for me.

Posted on: Nov 12, 2001, Source: AlterNet

As the economy tanks, its time to eliminate some of the fat. I suggest starting with coffee shops that market their own CDs, those *$#&!ing smiley faces and Bill Gates.

Posted on: Oct 30, 2001, Source: AlterNet

While Congress tells us to remain calm, they ditch the Capital en masse and then propose to nuke our mail. Meanwhile, Dan Rather contracts a severe case of anthrax envy....

Posted on: Oct 23, 2001, Source: AlterNet

"We're shooting off laser-guided smart bombs and ready to eat ethnically sensitive pre-packaged meals at the same time. Is this sending mixed messages?" and other great questions.

Posted on: Oct 2, 2001, Source: AlterNet

After 9-11, TV channels are adopting new logos. CBS: America on Alert. C-SPAN: Reality TV Since Before It Was Cool. BET: Ain't This Some Shit?

Posted on: Aug 20, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Before his 35 day vacation, Bush had spent one month at his ranch and 38 days at Camp David. So that means, since being on the job, he's actually been at work, what, about a week?

Posted on: Jul 30, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Smokers save society money by dying quickly. Other ways to "thin the herd" include giving out free bullets, making airbags illegal and requiring prescriptions for fresh fruit.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Now that China is hosting the 2008 Olympics, the nominations for mascot are rolling in. How about "Blim Blim: the Re-educated Panda" or "Buzzy: the Red Bullet of Righteousness?"

Posted on: Jul 9, 2001, Source: AlterNet

What do the 41st and 43rd presidents of the United States talk about when their golf cart leaves the journalists behind?

Posted on: Jul 2, 2001, Source: AlterNet

History: C -- Confused Ancient History with Modern History. Attidue: S -- Works well with others. Little Jimmy Jeffords excepted. $300 per person buyoff didn't hurt.

Posted on: Jun 25, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Globalization affect me because: 1. I can't pronounce my car. 2. I bought a cell phone with an international plan. 3. My third grader can make bail for me in six languages.

Posted on: Jun 11, 2001, Source: AlterNet

George W. Bush is on his way to Europe. Fortunately, the Republicans have prepared a book to brief him.

Posted on: Jun 4, 2001, Source: AlterNet

The best part of Celine Dion signing a five year deal to sing in Vegas is the rest of the world is now a 60 month Celine free zone. Wonder if we can arrange for John Tesh to receive the same deal.

Posted on: May 28, 2001, Source: AlterNet

The Problem: Spy plane secrets stolen by China. The Brightside: Maybe they'll go bankrupt after paying $600 for hammers and $2000 for toilet seats.

Posted on: May 21, 2001, Source: AlterNet

The future depends on you.

Posted on: May 7, 2001, Source: AlterNet

What They Say: We provide the best and most economical service possible to our valued energy consumers. What They Mean: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Cha ching! Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Posted on: Apr 25, 2001, Source: deleted

Political comic Will Durst dissects the statements, and state of mind, of some of America's public figures, and considers the effect on our national psyche of the absence of someone to hate.

Posted on: Apr 23, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Q. So the Shrub has been President for approximately 100 days and the consensus is ...?<br> A. Excepting his frequent dips into the tar pit of toxic love, he isn't regarded to have done too badly.