Stories by Will Durst

Will Durst is a political comic, syndicated columnist, AM radio talk show host and defense liability. His new e- book “Elect to Laugh!” published by Hyperink is now available at Redroom.com. subscribe to Will Durst's feed

Roving Target

Posted on: Jul 14, 2005, Source: AlterNet

'The reporters won't get off the Karl Rove-Valerie Plame story. They're like rabid wolverines and I'm the wounded bunny.'

The Rare Double-Pronged Red-Footed Bushie

Posted on: Jul 5, 2005, Source: AlterNet

This week, America was treated to a rare double dose of the President talking out of both sides of his mouth.

Scoundrel City

Posted on: Jun 23, 2005, Source: AlterNet

Here's what endangers our troops: greedy cretinous toad leaders who send them 12,000 miles away to a desert to fight a war based on lies. Not telling the press that you are disgusted by reports of torture.

Scoundrel City

Posted on: Jun 23, 2005, Source: AlterNet

I'll tell you what endangers our troops: greedy cretinous toad leaders who send them 12,000 miles away to a desert, to fight a war based on lies.

Reefer Absurdity

Posted on: Jun 9, 2005, Source: AlterNet

Why do politicians always insist on lumping all drugs together? Even a fourth grader can tell you that crack is to pot like an uzi is to a banana. Crack: kills. Pot: giggles.

Deep Throat Whining

Posted on: Jun 6, 2005, Source: AlterNet

"Speaking with us today is one of the men who spent some time at the eye of the Watergate storm..."

Ring Around the Coercion

Posted on: May 19, 2005, Source: AlterNet

Now, even though it doth protest too much, <i>Newsweek</i> is backing down like a badly beaten mule at cliff's edge.

This Little Pea Did Not Eat Roast Beef

Posted on: May 5, 2005, Source: AlterNet

PETA acts as a wacky counter balance to the NRA in terms of embarrassing the two major parties on a fair and equal basis.

Satan's Filibuster

Posted on: Apr 29, 2005, Source: AlterNet

Hey, you crazy faithful, how 'bout a hand for the Doctor Senator Reverend Indian Chief Bill Frist. Could that guy sweet talk the chrome off the bumper of a '57 Ford or what?

Leading the Pack Away from the Leader

Posted on: Apr 21, 2005, Source: AlterNet

How far would the majority go to defend one of their own?

Cyclops Pink Eye

Posted on: Apr 14, 2005, Source: AlterNet

Obviously, politics, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, but in terms of idealogues, this administration has developed a serious case of conjunctivitis.

E-mail to the Cardinal

Posted on: Apr 7, 2005, Source: AlterNet

<i>Pope!</i> plans to go behind the sacristy to reveal the intrigue and romance that goes into a new pope-picking.

Plug Me In

Posted on: Mar 30, 2005, Source: AlterNet

I want to live. As man, vegetable or refreshing side order of fruit salad with strawberry yogurt sauce. Hell, I never thought I'd make it this far to begin with.

Wimp II: This Time It's Personal

Posted on: Mar 24, 2005, Source: AlterNet

Got to admit it's not completely the 43rd president's fault. This whole wimp thing is obviously a congenital condition inherited from 41.

Slogans: Good. Policy: Bad.

Posted on: Mar 17, 2005, Source: AlterNet

Will Durst offers 30 U.S. foreign policy extreme makeover slogans.

Frog Soup

Posted on: Mar 9, 2005, Source: AlterNet

For Sen. Ted Stevens, who is so concerned with the content of the cable channels he subscribes to, I have one thing to offer: You don't like something on your TV? TURN IT OFF!

Time Once Again ...

Posted on: Feb 25, 2005, Source: AlterNet

Let us now settle in for the most serious and consequential of all the awards ceremonies: The 12th Annual Will Durst Thank God For These Liquid Squeezebags Because I'm a Comic Awards.

Bush to Poor: Drop Dead

Posted on: Feb 22, 2005, Source: AlterNet

You can't put it any more simply. Rich people richer. Poor people poorer.

The 2005 State of the Union Address Drinking Game

Posted on: Feb 2, 2005, Source: AlterNet

Rule 1: Whenever President Bush uses the words: "tax relief," "mandate" or "bipartisan," drink a shot of beer.

Inaugural 2: This Time It's Really Personal

Posted on: Jan 24, 2005, Source: AlterNet

A horror movie sequel that will leave you in chills.

Top News Stories of 2004

Posted on: Dec 28, 2004, Source: AlterNet

I have compiled a list of the top ten news stories eliciting humor in 2004 &#8211; because it&#146;s your right to know.

Tis the Season

Posted on: Dec 21, 2004, Source: AlterNet

It happens every year: People start fussing and fighting so loudly you can barely hear those dogs barking out "Jingle Bells."

The Five Stages of Democratic Grief

Posted on: Dec 10, 2004, Source: AlterNet

Dems need to pass through denial to acceptance in order to move on.

Top Ten List of Public Safety Hazards

Posted on: Dec 1, 2004, Source: AlterNet

This week's release of the 30th annual National Political Logic Commission survey is highlighted by some of the greatest gaps in reason and rationality in the history of the study.

Not Climbing a Tower

Posted on: Nov 11, 2004, Source: AlterNet

I've almost even gotten used to the fact that the side who told the scarier lies won.

The Comeback Kid Comes Back

Posted on: Oct 28, 2004, Source: AlterNet

Elvis is back in the building! Although a bit pale and thin, Bill Clinton goes on the road to rally for Kerry in the final week of the campaign.

Cheater's Proof

Posted on: Sep 28, 2004, Source: AlterNet

After a string of hurricanes in Florida, is God trying to tell us something?

Economic Girlie Men

Posted on: Sep 8, 2004, Source: AlterNet

The Governator's appearance is puzzlingly successful; Cheney and Miller continue a logic-free smear campaign.

The Pink Republicans

Posted on: Aug 31, 2004, Source: AlterNet

The GOP is parading a bunch of stunt Republicans on the convention podium.

The Smurf Has Claws

Posted on: Jul 29, 2004, Source: AlterNet

There's something a little creepy about the Primary Wonder Boy John Edwards.

Bounceity-bounce-bounce

Posted on: Jul 28, 2004, Source: AlterNet

Report from Tuesday's round two: Obama-rama meets Reagan-palooza.

Prodigious Hemming Meets Maximum Hawing

Posted on: Jul 27, 2004, Source: AlterNet

Questions continually arise as to why they bother to hold these over-staged inflato-events when the bulk of the proceedings could be conducted in a corner booth at Denny's over a Grand Slam Breakfast.

Follow That Mofo

Posted on: Jul 27, 2004, Source: AlterNet

Kerry will let house cool after rousing night with Clintons; meanwhile, a new campaign slogan &#8211; "shove it!"

Binary Bush

Posted on: Jul 21, 2004, Source: AlterNet

Sorry Dubya, not all questions are as easy as 'madman vs. America.'

Going to the Johns

Posted on: Jul 13, 2004, Source: AlterNet

The senator from North Carolina is smilier than a beauty queen prancing down a sequined runway past the judges' table.

The Day After the Third of July

Posted on: Jun 29, 2004, Source: AlterNet

A day to celebrate a land that guarantees its citizens justice, equality and the right to the pursuit of happiness, a right Jennifer Lopez seems intent on pushing way past any arbitrary limits.

Reagan-Palooza

Posted on: Jun 16, 2004, Source: AlterNet

Frequently asked questions about Ronald Reagan's funeral.

Requiem for a Ray Gun

Posted on: Jun 7, 2004, Source: AlterNet

Allow me to weigh in with my "Saint Ronnie Died For Our Sins Exoneration Collection."

We've Run Out of Bullets

Posted on: May 31, 2004, Source: AlterNet

When the going gets tough, the tough send other people's kids to fight to keep gas under $2 a gallon.

Massachusetts Marriage Mania

Posted on: May 17, 2004, Source: AlterNet

The city of Cambridge becomes the first municipality to legally marry a gay couple in the State of Massachusetts.

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