Stories by Will Durst

Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to to find about more about his new CD, “Elect to Laugh,” as well as his one-man show “BoomerAging: From LSD to OMG." subscribe to Will Durst's feed

Posted on: May 28, 2001, Source: AlterNet

The Problem: Spy plane secrets stolen by China. The Brightside: Maybe they'll go bankrupt after paying $600 for hammers and $2000 for toilet seats.

Posted on: May 21, 2001, Source: AlterNet

The future depends on you.

Posted on: May 7, 2001, Source: AlterNet

What They Say: We provide the best and most economical service possible to our valued energy consumers. What They Mean: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Cha ching! Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Posted on: Apr 25, 2001, Source: deleted

Political comic Will Durst dissects the statements, and state of mind, of some of America's public figures, and considers the effect on our national psyche of the absence of someone to hate.

Posted on: Apr 23, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Q. So the Shrub has been President for approximately 100 days and the consensus is ...?<br> A. Excepting his frequent dips into the tar pit of toxic love, he isn't regarded to have done too badly.

Posted on: Mar 26, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Bush wants Mexico to build more power plants and sell the U.S. some power. And why not use Mexico as a basement corner where we can hide our unsightly pipes and wires? We already treat it like a subhemispheric temp agency.

Posted on: Mar 12, 2001, Source: AlterNet

The only thing sadder than the current crop of Democrats crawling on their bellies like spine-damaged weasel toads mewing for total strangers to spoon feed them milk in the dark, is Thai food in Arkansas. But let's look on the brightside ...

Posted on: Feb 26, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Q. Shouldn't America be concerned that Mark Rich traded with the enemy?<br>A. You mean as opposed to Ronald Reagan, the PRESIDENT who traded with the enemy?

Posted on: Feb 12, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Business is commonly conducted between the hours of 8:00 am and 5:00 pm. But if you're actually serious about getting a deal done, avoid early mornings, the hours immediately following lunch, Mondays and Fridays. Best results can be achieved Tuesdays through Thursdays between 10:00 am and noon.

Posted on: Jan 29, 2001, Source: AlterNet

"Hello, you have reached the office of the President of the United States. Please leave a message at the beep and Dick Cheney will return your call at his earliest convenience..."

Posted on: Jan 15, 2001, Source: AlterNet

Tips for Conserving Calfornia's Energy: * Hook up an exercising bicycle to the TV. Then, whoever wants to watch a particular program has to provide the power. This could work with the VCR, microwave and hair dryer as well.

Posted on: Jan 8, 2001, Source: AlterNet

* The Airline Industry makes every effort to finally rid the skies of the most dangerous security element known to man: the second carry on bag. * George W further attests he will bow to Dad's pressure by having the hole in his butt enlarged to accommodate Dick Cheney's hand.

Posted on: Dec 18, 2000, Source: AlterNet

Usually George writes the annual holiday letter, but with all those resumes piling up on his desk (and a few FBI files too... just kidding!) he asked if I'd do it.

Posted on: Dec 18, 2000, Source: AlterNet

Comfort food is the stuff you need to eat to feel better. The universal quintessence is chicken noodle soup. Certified by nanas of umpteen ancient cultures to contain mystical curative properties.

Posted on: Dec 11, 2000, Source: AlterNet

The amazing thing is a month later and we still don't know whether to order donkey or elephant frosting for the Inaugural Ball cakes.

Posted on: Dec 4, 2000, Source: AlterNet

Winner: Supreme Court. Aaron Spelling rumored preparing hot new series on Fox: "Beneath the Robes" starring Darva Conger as Sandra Day O'Connor, Jude Law as David Souter and Delroy Lindo as Clarence Thomas.

Posted on: Nov 27, 2000, Source: AlterNet

"We stole this election fair and square, and if the shoe were on the other foot, we'd just pack up and go home like good little boys and girls."

Posted on: Nov 13, 2000, Source: AlterNet

"What I don't get is why the vote counting deadlines always have to happen at five pm? Isn't there anybody in the state able to authorize overtime?"

Posted on: Oct 16, 2000, Source: AlterNet

Not New York, New York, that's all I ask. Grapefruit spoons in my eyes, leaded paint chips under my fingernails, but not Mets versus Yankees.

Posted on: Oct 9, 2000, Source: AlterNet

A brief excerpt from "Dear Mr. Cheney," a column of Dick's trademark kinder, gentler advice.