Stories by Jim Hightower

Even in the midst of his invasion of Iraq, George W took time to deal with one domestic matter that is dear to his heart: Creating more secrecy in the executive branch of government.

Question: What's the opposite of progress? Answer: Congress.

If cynicism was a planet, the Bush adminstration would be Jupiter, the biggest of all.

When our troops fought the Taliban in Afghanistan, they were fired at with US-made missiles, supplied to Taliban leaders by Ronald Reagan and Bush the First when the Taliban was our "friend" fighting our enemy, Russia, which is now our "friend."

An ancient aphorism of war declares: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Well, what if you arm your "friend" to fight your enemies, but the "friend" later turns on you, using the weapons you provided -- are you then your own enemy? Or are you just bone-deep stupid?

In order to increase the revenues of wealthy campaign donors, some Republicans are expanding federal power to protect and preserve predatory lending practices.

Would you pay $720 for a jar of salad dressing? It's from Brazil, but still .... How about buying tweezers from Japan at $4,896 each?

George W. solves the layoff hysteria -- not by creating jobs, but by discontinuing the Layoff Statistics Program.

Do you speak Bot? It's not the language of Botswanans, Bosnians, or any other people--it's the language of a fast-spreading computer software known as digital "buddies."

George W is pushing his latest tax giveaway to the superrich as an "economic stimulus."

Rates are up, service is down, and corporate arrogance rules over us consumers.

Right-wing groups like to bloviate about how the media is a bastion of liberal bias, if not an outright front for the International Communist Conspiracy (don't bother trying to explain to them that the commie "conspiracy" is deader than disco music).

Lily Tomlin said, "I worry that the man who invented Muzak might be thinking of inventing something else."

Heroism is not glamorous... it's gutsy. Here's to all the heroes who help keep America a little more ethical.

Excuse me for noticing, but isn't it dumber than dum-dee-dumb-dumb for Washington to keep arming thuggish regimes around the world that we later end up fighting?

If corporate America won't act right, and if our government fails to make the greedheads act right, it's up to We the People to take the situation into our own hands.

The Pentagon's Department of Turning Anything and Everything Into Weapons That Eat Taxpayers' Money have come up with several possibilities for making war stinkier yet.

The politicians don't want to think about it, the media establishment has turned a blind eye to it, and the Bushites are trying to shout it down - but it's rising anyway, getting bigger and bigger all across the country.

Here it comes -- another Gooberhead Award, presented to those in the news whose tongues are going 100 miles an hour ... but who forgot to put their brains in gear.