Stories by Will Durst
Will Durst is a political comic, syndicated columnist, AM radio talk show host and defense liability.
A couple of Washington Post reporters have called this the "Seinfeld" election because it's supposedly about nothing.
Posted on Nov 4, 2002, Source: AlterNet
May the better team win. Which would mean the Giants will be the World Series Winner. I can live with that.
Posted on Oct 22, 2002, Source: AlterNet
According to the October issue of the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, duct tape is a more effective, less painful alternative to liquid nitrogen for use as a wart remover.
Posted on Oct 21, 2002, Source: AlterNet
San Francisco, California, where the Giants are off to the National League Championship series, having beaten the Atlanta Braves following the president's speech. There is now talk of asking Bush to open all Giants games with a pep-talk.
Posted on Oct 9, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Before Bush decides to flatten Iraq, three Democratic congressmen went over there to check out the situation.
Posted on Oct 7, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Question: The economy sucks, Bush is president and we're going to war with Iraq. This seems a bit of a familiar road, what?
Posted on Sep 30, 2002, Source: AlterNet
What do apocalypse, the post office and Martha Stewart have in common?
Posted on Sep 23, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Bush and Baghdad are locked in one interesting poker match. We can expect George W. to call right around election time.
Posted on Sep 18, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Bush is having a helluva time selling the War with Iraq. It wouldn't be surprising if Barak isn't returning his calls.
Posted on Sep 9, 2002, Source: AlterNet
What Donald Rumsfeld would say when he tries justifying war on Iraq: "Because of a guy named Saddam Hussein. That's what we got here people. Another Hitler. Only swarthier."
Posted on Sep 3, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Instead of leaving the safe confines of his Crawford Ranch, Bush instead sends Colin Powell. The message is clear here: Dubya doesn't give two bits about the U.N. World Summit.
Posted on Aug 27, 2002, Source: AlterNet
In which Vice President Dick Cheney picks out his dream warlord by asking who hates Saddam Hussein the most.
Posted on Aug 19, 2002, Source: AlterNet
A recent arrest of an off-brand, father-and-son outfit reeks of fishyness. Are these busts for show or excuses for parading white collar workers?
Posted on Aug 5, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Guess we must salute the courage of President Bush for chastising corporations for the very actions he and his administration have engaged in all their lives.
Posted on Jul 15, 2002, Source: AlterNet
The U.S. Senate voted 99-0 to include the word 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance. Too bad they can't have that kind of consensus waking Jesse Helms with a gavel to the head.
Posted on Jul 8, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Nova Scotia surf resorts. Home grown bananas. You won't have to retire to Arizona, Arizona will come to you.
Posted on Jun 11, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Whitewater? That was vital information. But asking what Bush knew before September 11? That's partisanship!
Posted on May 21, 2002, Source: AlterNet
The President called Colin Powell's Mideast mission a success. A success? Why? Because he came back? What is this? "Survivor: The West Bank?
Posted on May 1, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Durst dishes the dirt on what really went on between American cardinals and the Pope today at the Vatican.
Posted on Apr 23, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Hey Colin, why don't you get over there and kick Arafat and Sharon in the ass and get Zinni out of there before he starts World War Goddam III.
Posted on Apr 10, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Forget about robins and cherry blossoms and marshmellow bunnies. It's the first crack of the bat that's the true harbinger of spring.
Posted on Apr 2, 2002, Source: AlterNet
What icons should we add to Tom Ridge's Color Wheel of Doom? Church icon: Praying at this point could not hurt. Beer icon: Time to drink heavily. Lips icon: Kiss your butt goodbye.
Posted on Mar 20, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Some of the congressmen involved in the Enron inquiry are being very circumspect in their questioning, fearing that if they push too hard, Ken Lay will cut off their allowance.
Posted on Mar 1, 2002, Source: AlterNet
I am glued to the tube watching the XIX Winter Olympics where we, and yes, I do mean the US of A, are kicking major Russkie and Scandinavian ass.
Posted on Feb 20, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Stand back everybody, I think I'm going to blow. After the Super Bowl Super Patriotic bonanza, I've got myself a bad bad case of Star Spangled Ebola.
Posted on Feb 5, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Durst's round up the weirdest, most amazing news that probably never happened.
Posted on Jan 31, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Poor Kenneth Lay. Just this time last year he was riding higher than bacteria on a gnat inside the ear of a giraffe with a hyperactive pituitary.
Posted on Jan 22, 2002, Source: AlterNet
Try as I might to swallow this force fed goofy anecdote, I end up suspecting something else much more untoward actually going down.
Posted on Jan 15, 2002, Source: AlterNet
It's that weird time of the year where we estimate how much our friends and family care for us, translate that into a dollar amount and meet the challenge dead on by purchasing presents.
Posted on Dec 18, 2001, Source: AlterNet
The stuff we need to know, they won't tell us. And the stuff we don't need to know, they won't stop telling us.
Posted on Dec 11, 2001, Source: AlterNet
The challenge is terrorism. The answer is a 20% Patriots Sale(tm) on everything in the store! Not including video games or consoles.
Posted on Dec 4, 2001, Source: AlterNet
Let me take this time to list a few of the many microscopic details that make ordinary day to day living worth it all for me.
Posted on Nov 20, 2001, Source: AlterNet
As the economy tanks, its time to eliminate some of the fat. I suggest starting with coffee shops that market their own CDs, those *$#&!ing smiley faces and Bill Gates.
Posted on Nov 13, 2001, Source: AlterNet
While Congress tells us to remain calm, they ditch the Capital en masse and then propose to nuke our mail. Meanwhile, Dan Rather contracts a severe case of anthrax envy....
Posted on Oct 31, 2001, Source: AlterNet
"We're shooting off laser-guided smart bombs and ready to eat ethnically sensitive pre-packaged meals at the same time. Is this sending mixed messages?" and other great questions.
Posted on Oct 24, 2001, Source: AlterNet
After 9-11, TV channels are adopting new logos. CBS: America on Alert. C-SPAN: Reality TV Since Before It Was Cool. BET: Ain't This Some Shit?
Posted on Oct 3, 2001, Source: AlterNet
Before his 35 day vacation, Bush had spent one month at his ranch and 38 days at Camp David. So that means, since being on the job, he's actually been at work, what, about a week?
Posted on Aug 21, 2001, Source: AlterNet
Smokers save society money by dying quickly. Other ways to "thin the herd" include giving out free bullets, making airbags illegal and requiring prescriptions for fresh fruit.
Posted on Jul 31, 2001, Source: AlterNet
Now that China is hosting the 2008 Olympics, the nominations for mascot are rolling in. How about "Blim Blim: the Re-educated Panda" or "Buzzy: the Red Bullet of Righteousness?"
Posted on Jul 17, 2001, Source: AlterNet
What do the 41st and 43rd presidents of the United States talk about when their golf cart leaves the journalists behind?
Posted on Jul 10, 2001, Source: AlterNet
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