5 Big Anxieties About Sex (And Why You Should Stop Worrying)
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4. Does she really expect me to have sex for three hours straight?
Short answer: No. Long answer: It depends on what you mean by "sex." Generally, if a woman says she wants a man to take his time, she means more foreplay, not three hours of vigorous humping (because that just isn't fun - for anyone).
For women, great sex involves a long slow build-up. Intercourse is one way to cap it all off, but because most women can't orgasm from this kind of stimulation alone, it's important to mix things up beforehand with manual stimulation, oral sex or sex toys. Plus, many men can't last that long anyway. Why rush to the finish line rather than savor all the fun stuff that can come before?
5. What if I want to have hot sex, not make love?
Some people would argue that doing the nasty and making love are the same thing. And physically speaking, they kind of are. But on an emotional level, they are worlds apart. Quickie sex should not be discounted. It's hot, it's decadent and being wild and spontaneous can really spice things up - even if you are bent over something horribly uncomfortable. But in a long-term relationship, it should never be a staple. There's a time for can't-get-my-hands-off-you sex, and there's a time for spending time together, learning to really enjoy and please each other, and cuddling up together when it's all over. That's about more than sex - it's about building a relationship. Indulge in the art of love with someone you love regularly. The rest of the time, grab the saddle and pony up for a fast hard ride.