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17 Restaurant Dishes With A Shockingly High Calorie Count (Even For America)

Even in this climate of unhinged gluttony, there are still a few restaurants that manage to shock and distress with just how little they seem to care about their patrons’ health.
 
 
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The following story first appeared on Thought Catalog. 
 
In America, very little should be shocking when it comes to food. We are the country that seems to be in an open arms race to create the singular food item that will push us most efficiently into ill health. We have the Double Down, the Krispy Kreme burger, the “ Heart Attack Grill,” whose morbidly obese spokesperson died of heart problems at age 29. But even in this climate of unhinged gluttony, there are still a few restaurants that manage to shock and distress with just how little they seem to care about their patrons’ health.

1. The Cheesecake Factory’s  Avocado Egg Rolls, 963 Calories

It feels important to begin this list by addressing The Cheesecake Factory specifically, because that restaurant may be the most insane chain in all the United States from a nutritional perspective, and it will be making several appearances on this list. This appetizer is impressive mostly for taking a vegetable-based appetizer, and transforming it into something with more calories than the average meal.

2. T.G.I. Friday’s  Pecan Crusted Chicken Salad (With Dressing), 1360 Calories

It’s generally always a good idea to top your salads with fried chicken, because it’s important that they contain more calories than most double cheeseburgers.

3. Sonic’s  CroisSONIC Breakfast Sandwich, 650 Calories

First off, am I the only person who is grossed out at the thought of putting an egg and cheese breakfast sandwich on something as oily and heavy as a croissant? It’s just gnarly. And if you’re going to do it, why not go for the ham instead of the sausage and save yourself 130 calories instantly? Why do we need so much of a bad thing?

4. Applebee’s  Blue Ribbon Brownie, 1290 Calories

Nothing like topping off a dinner with a nice, light dessert comprised of 65 percent of your daily calorie needs.

5. Coldstone Creamery’s  PB&C Shake, 2010 Calories

This almost seems like it has to be some kind of practical joke, because you have to make a conscious effort to make a single drink be this unhealthy.

6. Outback Steakhouse’s  Bloomin’ Onion, 1948 Calories

I want to say I’ll never eat one of these again, given how unbelievably bad for you it is, but I probably will. Come on.

7. Starbucks’  Venti White Chocolate Mocha, 620 Calories

There are few better ways to start your day than with a morning coffee that contains more calories, sugar, and saturated fat than most actual food items you could be consuming. We know that drinking our calories is just about the dumbest things we can do, and yet, there we go, Instagramming our pics of liquid butter from Starbucks.

8. Macaroni Grill’s  Chicken Caesar Salad (With Dressing), 870 Calories

Can we just agree to kick chicken caesar salad out of the “healthy food club” once and for all? We all know that it’s not a positive nutritional choice, let’s give up the charade.

9. IHOP’s  Chicken Fried Steak With Eggs And Sausage Gravy, 1850 Calories

IHOP is a hot mess. This dish — and the calories it contains — is a hot mess. No one should be eating this at any time, let alone first thing in the morning. (Waffle House is better, anyway.)

10. Subway’s  Meatball Marinara Sub, 560 Calories

 
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